New Money

Chapter 5 - Shampoo

Auden Wright

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The lock on my door had been janky ever since I started renting the apartment. I pushed my body weight into it until it finally gave, and I could step into my apartment. I tossed my bag and keys on my kitchen counter and began to take off my coat.

"You didn't tell me you would be away today, Auden," A voice spoke up from my bed, across the apartment. It was quickly identified as Declan's.

"I'm sorry Declan. It was a last-minute thing, and Matthew needed me in New York." He stood from the bed and walked closer to me in a manner that reminded me of Leo today.

"You went all of the ways to New York today, and you decided that you just didn't need to tell me," he scowled as he spoke. He stood right in front of me as he finished speaking. Declan wasn't that tall - just a few inches more than me - but in the dim lighting, he took up so much space, making me take a step back.

"Look Declan, I'm really sorry, but there's a situation that came up and we really need to talk," he wasn't listening, he just got angrier as I spoke.

"Yeah, we do need to talk. We need to talk about how you directly disobeyed me," His jaw clenched as he spoke, and he continued to follow me as I stepped back until I hit the door. I was caged in. He slammed his hands into the door above my head, making me jump.

"Declan-"

"No. You know I worry about you, and this was just icing on the cake. How am I supposed to protect you when I don't know where you are or what you're doing?! You could hurt yourself, Auden," His voice finally softened. He just wanted to protect me from myself and others. I was a loose cannon and he helped with that. I was controlled with him

"I know. I swear I was safe. It's my fault, I should have told you. I am so sorry." His body seemed to unclench, and his breathing slowed. I was still caged under him on the door.

I reached out my hand to his face to see if I could calm him more. He allowed me to touch him, and I held his cheek in my palm.

Declan pulled away from me suddenly, making me flinch again.

"So, what was so important that you endangered yourself?" His tone was still clipped. He was still angry. My apology was not good enough.

"Oh, I'm just now involved in some of my step-father's business. With the Giovanni Corporation and they needed my help." Declan was too violent right now; telling him the truth would just cause more problems. I know how bad he could get when he was angry.

"So you're finally getting a real job with your father? Good. That's good." His lips curled at the corners, not reaching his eye. Declan had always thought my degree was silly, that it couldn't get me a sustainable job. He was wrong in that - one of the only things he was ever wrong about.

"Yeah, so I might be going to New York more often now. I'll let you know when I go." I tried to smile and relieve the tension, but it didn't work, and I still had my back on the door. I wanted to disappear into it.

"Please, Auden, just tell me next time. You know how I am. Especially after everything that happened with Emily and your situation now." Emily was his ex-girlfriend who had gotten mugged when they were still dating. He never wanted me to end up like Emily. Understandably, it just made him very protective of me.

"I'm sorry, Declan. I swear, I won't do it again. It wasn't my intention to hurt you." I stepped closer to him, just a little. He stepped back from me.

"But you did Auden. You hurt me. You betrayed my trust," his voice was no longer angry, but upset. I was a failure to him

"Delcan, please-"

"'Please' what Auden? Please forgive you?" I nodded as I felt tears threaten to spill over in my eyes. "I don't know if I can. I need some space right now."

"Oh... okay." My voice was small. Declan couldn't meet my eyes as he pushed past me and left the apartment. I was such a failure. I couldn't ever be enough for him.

It was so quiet. There seemed to be no one around. I couldn't even hear the cars that were always outside from the windows opposite of me. There were always cars. It's Philadelphia. The world seemed to be on pause, just for a second.

I took a few steps to my closet, grabbing a hanger and putting up my coat. I felt numb and robotic as I grabbed a pair of sweats and a hoodie, walking into the bathroom. Shower first, Auden, then think and figure it out. Shower first.

The water was too hot as it ran down my back. It never seemed to be right. Always too cold or too hot. Never just right. It made me feel like Goldilocks sometimes, trying to find the perfect temperature all of the time. It's what I got for renting a cheap apartment.

I went through the motions of my shower, not paying attention to what I actually was doing. My hands seemed to work on their own accord, grabbing my shampoo, putting some in my hands, rubbing it into my hair.

My eyelids slipped occasionally as I showered, exhaustion slipping in. Most nights I would have stayed up much later, but the actions of today were too much. Everything was too much. Then there was the situation with Declan. How was he ever going to forgive me? I had frightened him without meaning too. I was so caught up in the situation with the Giovannis and Matthew that I never told him. And I still hadn't told him that I was going to get married. I didn't want to - I didn't want to deal with his temper at my betrayal.

I stepped out of the tiny shower, wrapping my hair in an extra towel, and myself in another. My bathroom was cramped, barely any room to do anything, so I sat on the closed toilet for a minute, just resting. The moments right after a shower are always so calm. The steam from my shower still filled the space and covered my reflection in the mirror from my view.

Eventually, I couldn't sit in the silence of the bathroom any longer, and I left after changing. Clothes in the hamper, kettle on the stove. I had homework I needed to do and emails to reply to, but for now, I needed a hot mug of tea and my bed.

Just this one night maybe I could break Declan's rules. I could pull the bottle of whiskey out of the bottom cabinet and forget about the world for a little bit. It would make me sleep better anyway. I couldn't quite understand why Declan was so against me drinking, anyway. He knew what was best for me though.

Tears began to form again. That seemed to be happening to me a lot lately. I hurriedly pushed them off of my face, and the kettle began to scream. Sleeping tonight would be a blessing.

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Questions? Comments? Concerns? -snailarson :)