A Flower Named You (My Forged Wedding Fanfic)

4 - Embroidered Flowers

(soundtrack above to accompany your reading)

Quitting school, leaving the country, taking in a child that isn't mine...everything about this was unlike me.

My mother asked me to not go. She told me that I had too much to do back home, so much to live for, and she was right. I was so close to finishing law school, and I had career opportunities already lined up for me after I graduated and passed the bar.

But...if not me, then who?

My mother was frail, and sickly. She has been battling cancer for years, and steadily winning said battle. The news of my sister's death was enough stress for her as it. Taking care of a child was something that I could never allow her to do, and something that my sister would hate, given our mother's health.

Besides, I needed a fresh start this time.

I thought I wanted to be successful, but...was it truly for myself?

I'd lived my life feeling confident about everything I did, because I thought I knew what I wanted.

I thought I knew.

I stood outside of a childcare center in a country that I hadn't been to in over a decade, ready to take in a child, petrified. It was perfectly valid to feel these emotions, however these feelings were unusual to me.

Frustrated by my self-doubt, I placed my cold hand on one of my cheeks, trying to snap out of my hesitation. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before moving closer to Harue.

The crinkling of the fallen leaves under my heels alerted my presence to the small boy, who quickly retreated his hands from around the chrysanthemum and turned around. His eyes met mine, and quickly moistened up with tears.

"Mommy?"

The combination of his tears, and the crack in his voice when he called out to my sister was enough for me to join him in on the crying. Upon seeing my reaction, he quickly ran towards me and hugged me around my waist, burying his face into my stomach, letting out uncontrollable wails.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry out for my sister too.

But, Hanae wouldn't be able to respond.

"Harue..." I kneeled and pulled him away from me in order to face him. "Harue...I'm not your mommy...but- "

I swallowed my remaining tears, something that was nearly impossible for me, and caress his little flushed cheeks. "Mommy isn't here anymore...but I'll take care of you...okay?"

I took him into my arms again as he rests his head on my shoulder this time, letting out those big tears of his.

After signing endless paperwork at the orphanage, Harue and I started making our way to the condo at sunset. As we walked along the busy neighborhood, he and I held hands in silence. I turned to look at him. It was as if the endless crying from before had completely depleted his energy as he dragged along beside me, rubbing his swollen eyes.

The lump in my throat threatened to let out the cascade of tears I had held back from earlier at the sight of him, so I turned my vision back to the path forward. I gave his had a little squeeze, as if trying to communicate my sadness to him. He squeezes back weakly in reciprocation.

Once outside our building, he tilts his head back, trying to get full scope of the tall structure. Harue then turns to me, as if asking, 'Is this it?'.

"Let's go home, Harue." I nodded, leading him inside.

On our floor, outside of his door stood Mr. Kougami In his usual suit and red tie. He nodded in greeting as he heard us approaching. "Good evening."

I gave Mr. Kougami a soft smile, hoping that both Harue and I didn't seem too emotionally distraught. "Good evening, just getting home from school?"

"Yeah. He sighed heavily, just a science teacher meeting- ",He paused, then turns to Harue, kneeling to be at the same eye level as him. "Hey buddy! What's your name?"

Harue, obviously exhausted and feeling shy, hides behind me at Mr. Kougami's friendly greeting.

Not really knowing how to react in this situation and given that Harue had more than enough encounters for the day, I chuckled quietly and apologized to Mr. Kougami. "I'm sorry, he's had kind of a long day. I won't have him introduce himself for today...so instead-"

I reached for Harue's hand again, as I spoke on his behalf, "This is my nephew, Harue Tsukino, and he'll be living with me from now on."

Yamato's friendly eyes travel from Harue's to mine in understanding. The physics teacher grinned boyishly, "That's exciting! Harue, let's talk another time, whenever you feel like it, yeah?"

Harue nods bashfully, peaking out from behind me.

"Alright! Sounds like a plan!" He reaches for his keys and begins to unlock his entrance. "Oh! That reminds me...my wife will be arriving soon from her vacation back home in Kyushu, I hope I get to introduce you to her, since we're neighbors and all."

"I'll be looking forward to it."

"Have a good evening Miss Natsume."

"You as well, Mr. Kougami."

I unlocked my own door and turned on the lights of the spacious living room. Harue's little eyes widened with surprise. It made sense. I had brought in some of the furniture previously owned by my sister, which was stored away in our old family home. The olive-green couch, with the colorful pillows that were decorated with beautiful stitched in flowers, and the wooden table, rustic and now a resting place for a small succulent, filled the space with a natural, and calming impression.

And of course, it reminded Harue of his previous home.

"I- brought this couch in because I thought maybe you would feel cozier and at home with it..." I spoke slowly, hoping he understood my intensions. I didn't really know what he was feeling other than tragedy (of course). "Um...and if you don't like it, er...if it makes you sad, I can also replace it." I spoke, carefully choosing my words.

"I... I like it." He removes his shoes at the entrance and walks over to the couch, taking one of the beige pillows, and running his fingers along the embroidered blossoms. "Mom put these on these pillow...did you know?"

I reach inside of the shoe rack, holding a brand-new pair of slippers for small feet. I stood beside Harue and admired the pillows. I didn't know much about my sister, and practically kept our lives separate after my mother and I moved to California, but regardless she and I had been close during our childhood days. What was it that happened that made us get so distant? Why hadn't I been in contact with her more often? Was it so hard to send her a text every so often?

I felt sick to my stomach from the regret that I was felt in that moment.

"I didn't know...but it sure is beautiful, isn't it?"