Parting Opus: The Conjouring of Atonomous Oeuvre

Act I: Parting

Clip clops echo throughout the shallow cavern. Albedo's gaze was taken away from... whatever it was that he was doing, and instead fixed onto a frame not much larger than his own.

"Albedo!" The second son of the Guild Manager of the Feiyun Commerce Guild angrily stomped his way into Albedo's make shift lab.

"Hello, Xingqui. Are you here to discuss the next set of illustrations for your novel?"

"I wish, but no. It is something most upsetting." Albedo's brows furrowed at the comment.

"Upsetting?"

"I was on my usual walk up the stairs to Wanwen Bookhouse when to my surprise they added a new section."

"Isn't that good? We should go sometime."

"WRONG!" Xingqui slammed a thin book onto Albedo's desk, nearly knocking off the contents. "Look at this monstrosity!"

Albedo did just that. He took the thin booklet and scanned over the title.

"Is this--"

"A fanfiction? Yes." Xingqui crossed his arms over his heaving chest while simultaneously tapping away with his right foot. "And look who they paired up!" Albedo opened the book to read the first lines.

"...HuanHe and PingQi? What's wrong with that?"

"What's wrong with that? WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT???" Xingqui 360 no scoped Albedo's desk so hard one of his Louis Vuitton red bottom stilettos went flying with it. "They're enemies! THEY HATE EACH OTHER!!!! Why would they get together?! Not only that but HuanHe clearly has a crush on Meiying and she reciprocates those feelings!!!! Their names even compliment each other! A beautiful flower blooms by a peaceful river!!! I read through the Liyue baby name dictionary to make sure their names clearly indicated their chemistry!!!"

The alchemist could do nothing but blink at this sudden outburst.

"...Xingqui, it's just a fanfic."

"YOU OVERCOOKED STRAWBERRY POPTART!!!" The child promptly removed his other shoe and yeeted it off the cliff, detonating a Hilichurl bomb and killing an entire Abyss Order settlement in the process. "Have you no shame? They're desecrating your work as well!"

"Meh, I don't really care."

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! Clearly you have no respect for the canon or your own work!"

"No, I just think it's fine... can you stop breaking my things?"

"We're through! I can't work with someone as ignorant as you."

"Xingqui, don't do this. You're making a decision with only your emotions."

"Oh no, I'm using the full potential of my big brain energy, and it's telling me our partnership isn't worth tainting my works OR MORALS!!! LEAVE AT ONCE!"

"..."

"..."

"...this is my lab..."

"..."

Xingqui slowly, but aggressively, backed away and glided off the cliff.

"If you change your mind I'll still draw for you." Xingqui said nothing, he just kept gliding.

* * *

"Wow, that does sound crummy." Chongyun sucked away at his iconic popsicle. "What a shame, I really liked his drawings."

"Well I guess that's just too bad. A real writer doesn't even need illustrations. They can perfectly illustrate a scene with words alone."

"So why are you crying then?"

"I see you still have no tact. You should never ask a man why they're crying. And if you see a man cry, pretend you don't."

"Aren't we 12 or something?"

"Quiet, dear Chongyun. If you speak any further I will have to remove that adverb from the way I address you."

"Oh no!"

"Oh yes!"

* * *

"Big brother Albedo! A letter came for you!"

"Thank you, Klee. *sexily opens the envelope* Ugh, how many times do I have to say I won't draw a woman buying wonder bread???"

"That guy's really persistent~"

"Indeed, concerningly so." Albedo did think this handwriting looked somewhat familiar. However, the city of Mondstadt has a population of 10 so he didn't pay it much mind.

The front door was kicked open by a leg that belonged to a luscious pair that connected into the best butt out of the entire Genshin Impact cast, yes you can @ me.

"Oh, hello Kaeya!"

"Hey there, Klee. Albedo, I heard about what happened between you and Xingqui."

"Word travels fast I see." Albedo's expression was unreadable.

"Kaeya, how can you hear if you have an eyepatch?" Klee tugged on that epic cape the Cavalry Captain of the Knights of Favonius that has never once been seen with, let alone riding a horse, always wore because it added to his epic cool points.

"No Klee, it's reading that's difficult with one eye."

"No, Jean said Kaeya never listens so it must be because of that eyepatch!"

"She's right. I can't hear at all."

"I told you, Albedo."

Albedo felt his life span shorten at this conversation.

"Anyways, that little Guhua fellow opened his own fanfiction shop."

"...What?"

"Albedo? What's a fanfiction?"

"Don't answer her Kaeya. I thought he hated fanfiction, why would he open his own shop?"

The front door was kicked open yet again by a— I have no frame of reference for how lucious her legs or booty are because she wears an epic long skirt, but Donna entered.

"This is truly awful! I tried submitting my Diluc x reader fanfiction to Guhua Fanwork, but they turned it down since it doesn't 'fit canon logic'. Who cares if Diluc wouldn't actually sing me to sleep at night on his magical flying greatsword? It's the experience you get from reading it. The emotions it sparks! How do I share my works to others who need to read them?" Donna began to sob into her transcript.

Kaeya made an anime cat face while side eyeing the shorter knight.

"Looks like somebody has work to do~" He mounted himself on his invisible donkey and flew off into the sunset.

"Work? What is he talking about, big brother Albedo?" Albedo looked at the worn booklet from before.

"Donna."

"*sobs* Y-yes?" Albedo handed her a handkerchief.

"Please take me to Guhua Fanworks."

To be continued...