A teenager's diary

1. Is life worth fighting for?

This boy is the complete opposite of her, they're like positive and negative, cold and fire. She's innocent and childish and he's dirty and dangerous.

After her first heartbreak, she never thought that she would be able to love or even like anyone again. Maybe the scar on her aching heart has finally started to heal after five years of suffering.

She tried to talk to him, but she can't even talk to him while staring straight into his eyes and when he looks at her she blushes and forgets how to make a coherent sentence, but he wasn't interested in her, for him she's just his classmate. So she decided to be just a friend of his and said "I'll try to be a friend. It's enough for me I just want to be near him" she said hello, but he didn't respond. and then something inside her melted and she tensed, the scar inside her heart opened and started to bleed furiously again.

Now she forgot the asshole who broke her heart five years ago but she's bleeding again and crawling into darkness again. She fell in love with the wrong guy again. This boy, the one she thought would dry her tears, mend her heart and make her smile again doesn't give a shit about her and she saw him flirting with every girl but her and teasing everyone but her. And while this pain was eating her alive she fought with her soul sister; her best friend, because she thought her friend didn't care about her, like everyone else, she isolated herself and caused a quarrel between her and her friend. Maybe she can't have Mr. 'Unknown' but she wouldn't let him ruin her friendship because if she let her friend go she knows that she'll be a mess.

WhyTthere isn't any chance for this poor innocent girl to smile? Why isn't there someone who buys her flowers when she is upset? Why 's there no one to hold her hand softly and guide her to a better world? Why does no one tell her to hold because every night will have a brighter day? Why is she obliged to have this bitter sad life?

She is always overthinking, her honey eyes never seem to dry, her face is pale and she's getting weaker with every second that passes. She says " I have a headache" whenever she's asked what's wrong and the moment she arrives at her home she locks her room's door and collapses on her bed hoping to fall into a beautiful dream better than this suffocating reality. But all she sees are nightmares. She is really struggling with life and fighting hard to survive but sometimes she just says "is this life worth fighting for?"

-J