King sad

Don't be cruel

I walked down the long corridor not really knowing where all this would lead me. I've never felt so sure about something that was so unclear. After all, I didn't know if he really wanted me to be there, but still, I just knew that I had to see him. I had arrived in front of his room and carefully knocked on the door. Nothing. I waited another few seconds until I decided to take matters into my own hands. I slowly opened the door and nosily popped my head into the room not sure of what was awaiting me. Elvis was laying on his bed, facing the opposite direction.

Can I come in?

He turned around, startled. He must have heard me knock but he still seemed surprised about my bold appearance. I don't know if I just wished to see relief on his face or if he was actually glad to see me. But he silently whispered "Yeah" and gave me an ensuring smile. He sat up and I made my way to the corner of the bed on which I sat down. I sat very stiff and didn't want to use too much space. It was his private room and I didn't want to invade it.

Is there anything I can do for you?

I skipped the "asking if everything was okay"-part because things clearly weren't and I didn't want to sound naïve.

No, honey. It's okay.

His mixed signals were driving me crazy. I had no idea if he wanted me to be here right now or if he was annoyed and wanted to be alone.

You don't have to tell me what's wrong if you don't want to. But maybe you can think of someone in your life, whom you can entrust your problems. It's always easier as soon as you are able talk about it.

He smiled at my words.

Honey, darling. There is no one out there, not a single soul that would be interested in that. You see, people like me for who I am on stage. They like that I make them feel good. But truth is, there is no one who actually cares.

I looked down. His words hurt me. Seeing him like this hurt me.

But you probably don't understand, he proceeded, I like that. I'm the king! I like that people think of me that way. I'm not some weak boy who lays on his bed and cries himself to sleep.

His eyes were glowing when he said those words. He took a pause.

I feel so weak. You must think I'm pathetic - humiliating myself like that.

Oh, was he wrong. Pathetic was the last thing I would call him. Now I was the one who smiled at his words.

No, Elvis. You're lucky, it's just me because and I don't think of you like that at all. And if someone does, you don't have to tell them that you are feeling this way. It'll be our secret. You really don't have to worry about it. But if you prefer to be alone, it's not a problem. I can leave.

No!

His eyes grew big and he seemed to regret the harshness of his voice.

I want you to stay.

He said much more softly. I just nodded. After a few seconds of me looking down at the blanket I said:

Lay down, Elvis. You deserve to get some sleep.

I gently pushed him back onto the bed. He looked at me. His face had an unsure expression. He followed my face every second trying to figure out what all this was about. Elvis was so capable of things but basic human needs like sleeping didn't come natural to him.

I lay down next to him. His gaze was still glued to my face.

You don't have to overthink this. Remember, no one even knows that you're being relatively weak right now. It's just us. No one is expecting anything from you in this exact moment. You can relax. Close your eyes.

Well that's not entirely true. A crowd full of people is waiting for me in another city and my whole team is probably trying to get a hold of me. 

I didn't know why but for some reason the crowd and the people who worked for him seemed so unreal for me in that moment. What really seemed like the only important thing was that Elvis could forget all of his problems for once. 

There are always going to be people who want something from you or who are waiting on you. You are the only person who can stop it. Just relax. Close your eyes! 

He didn't follow for a long second. His gaze didn't want to leave mine. But after a slight raise of my eyebrows, he insecurely closed his eyes. I just watched his beautiful face for a few seconds. My silence seemed to irritate him because he opened his eyes again.

No. That's not how you fall asleep. You have to keep them closed.

I giggled.

Deborah. I can't just fall asleep by closing my eyes. It doesn't work for me.

He sounded hurt. Revealing his weaknesses to someone took him a lot of courage.

Okay.

I remained calm.

I got up from the bed and switched off the lights. I crawled back into the bed and watched down on him.

Let's try again. Even if you just lay here it will get you some rest. And eventually you will fall asleep. Just don't pressure yourself.

I took his hand and brought it up to his chest resting my own hand on top of his. His hand felt really strong and manly and I loved how safe it made me feel. My fingers weren't able to cover his whole hand and I was weirdly turned on by that. I didn't intend to have those thoughts, I genuinely wanted to make him feel better. After a while I felt bad for it. He didn't deserve to always be treated like an object and be reduced to his beautiful appearance. I contemplated removing my hand from his so that my thoughts wouldn't always lead me into a romantic direction. I hesitantly pulled away but as soon as he felt my hand leave his body, he gently grabbed it with his other hand and placed it exactly where it had been before. But this time his other hand was also resting on mine so that left my hand being completely wrapped in both of his which almost caused my heart to burst out of my chest.