ocean eyes | k.egan

four

feeling ill to her stomach, kailani suddenly felt herself questioning why she all of a sudden decided to apply for the voice uk. especially after only just returning back to singing and playing the piano and guitar again. she knew she had been sitting at the laptop for a little too long and it wasn't until she heard her dad's voice from behind her that she returned from her disassociation. 

"...lani, you alright love? you've been sitting at the laptop a little bit too long. are you sure you want to apply for the voice? to be honest, it was only a mere suggestion and me nor mum thought you'd actually take it so seriously. so, if you really don't want to do it, you don't have to and that's okay too since we actually haven't spoke properly about it yet..." kian trailed off as kailani chuckled, rubbing her eyes and half turning away from the laptop to face her dad

"...no, it's fine, dad. and, i'm sure, i actually really do want to audition for the voice. it's just, i'm a little nervous and just allowed myself to question it for the first time since it was suggested. i mean, that was only the first time i picked up the guitar and piano after months of not touching it and, i guess i'm kind of worried about maybe losing it all..." kailani sighed as she trailed off, kian feeling awful for his daughter, she used to be so confident and now that her anxiety was returning again it was diminishing all of it all over again and it broke his heart 

"...aw, baby, you'll never lose it! you could be away from the guitar and piano for weeks, months or even years and you'd still get right back into it as though you never stopped playing it because you're a natural, lani! if you really do want to audition for the voice, by all means go for it, you know we'd all support ye and cheer you on! and the worst that could possibly happen is you get eliminated or you don't get a chair turn and that's okay. that doesn't reflect on you as a bad performer and singer and it means you can always try again next time, okay?" kian encourages as it was obvious the more he saw his daughter's facial expressions change that she did really want to go for it and try out for the voice and that made him proud

"thanks dad, i'm gonna go for it, i'm going to apply for the voice uk..." kailani smiled as kian cheered, sitting next to his daughter as she finished the application and then quickly sending it

* 

walking onto that voice uk stage was almost mortifying for kailani. but, for some reason, her mind was at ease knowing that if she just looked over to her left, her parents, brothers, uncles, aunties and cousins were just there watching and supporting her the entire time alongside the host of the show. breathing in and out, her breathing controlled, taking her seat at the piano she could hear the small murmurings of the audience. some of them recognising already that it was kailani egan without even needing to hear her voice. 

but, it was when she started to play the first few notes on the piano that everyone was silent and focused on kailani. it was as though she had put a spell on them and she hadn't even started singing yet. a few piano chords later and then kailani started singing when, already, she got a chair turn. looking up from the piano slightly, she noticed that it was olly murs that had turned first. looking back down to the piano, she smiled to herself as she continued her audition. kailani had always said that if two to three of the four coaches turned, she'd always pick olly murs. but, now that she heard the audience cheer a second time, looking up to see that anne-marie had turned, she was now conflicted. because she also said that if there was a female on the panel of coaches, she'd pick her over olly. 

as she continued to sing her audition song, which was ocean eyes by billie eilish by the way she got the other two judges, sir tom jones and will.i.am to turn around as well. meaning she now had a four chair turn and she still had another verse and chorus left of her audition. kailani couldn't hide her joy at all as she began the ending of her audition and this was now the moment she knew that she was glad she didn't give up about at least trying. because, how could she have known then that she would be getting four turns if she didn't at least try?