Chapter 43

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The sound of the waves gently crushing the shore calms her and that is all she needs after hours of crying her heart out alone. Everything is a mess and it felt like she was floating all this while. When she thought her heart cannot possibly be broken again after learning Areum is not her real sister—she was wrong.


Haneul is her biological sister. Everyone lied to her.


She wants to understand the reason everyone kept this from her but she feels too defeated to even think properly. Her heart shattered the second she heard her mother's confession, and it shattered even more when she realized Taehyung knew about it. She can't really point which of the two hurts more ; her mother lying to her or Taehyung knowing about it but not telling her.


But either way, she is numb. She needs everything to stop so that she can finally breathe at ease and let her thoughts rest. It feels like she is stuck in this one strange loop of uncertainties and has yet to find her way out. One second she feels numb, the next second she feels she is about to suffocate herself and it just keeps repeating. Her heart aches for so many reasons but everything seems like a blur and suddenly she can't even remember what hurts her anymore.


Sitting there on the bare sand, breathing in the freezing winter air the feeling the splash of water on her skin as she searches for any form of calmness. And every now and then, the thought of Taehyung aches her heart. She remembers the look on his face when she lashed at him and somehow, it fills her heart with regret.


But at some point, she wished he was there to share the grief. She was hoping Taehyung to feel everything she was feeling that moment so that she could lean on him for support. But when she realized he knew it before her, it feels like a betrayal. Maybe she expected him to be in the same boat and when she falls, he will be able to keep her up. But last night, it felt like she was left in her own swaying boat and he had gone further in a different boat.


Maybe she hoped too much. Or maybe, she made herself to believe he lied to her.


She sighs heavily, hugging the side of her arms feeling the chilly air starting to make her shiver. The only thing she had around her is the thick scarf she found in the beach house but clearly not thick enough for the freezing air.


Slowly she feels herself swimming deep into her heavy thoughts, reflecting everything that happened, again and again. Too drawn that she did not hear the approaching footsteps on the sand.








"Haru"








The sound of that familiar deep voice startled her, making her look up to her left and it feels like her breathe was knocked out of her chest. She gets up immediately, suddenly alerted seeing Taehyung standing a few feet away from her. Nothing could come out of her mouth, heart suddenly racing underneath her tight chest as the overwhelming emotions crash her again.


"Haru, plea—"


"Why are you here?", she hugs herself defensively, stepping backward to create more distance. "Please go"


Taehyung sees the way her eyes becomes teary again and the combination of emotions taking over her features ; sad, anguish, regret, hurt, remorse and most apparent, disappointment. He takes a slow step towards her only to have her moves backward, sharp glassy eyes looking at him.


"I am here for you", he gulps at his own words, eyes never leaving hers. "Please, let me—"


"I said no"


She turns around immediately, attempting to run away without even sparing him another glance. Her steps were quick on the sand, tears rolling down her cheeks once again as all those heavy emotions crash on her for the nth time the day. Her head spirals out of focus as the numbness takes over her being, body shaking as she fights her tears again. She doesn't know why exactly she wants to run away from him when her heart yearns from him. She wants him to hold her but a small part of her wants to run from him, needing more time to sort her heart.


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