A Slender Child

Chapter Four

CHAPTER FOUR

My heart sank. My whole world crumbled around me. I heard a roaring in in my ears, and the phrase repeated over and over.

"Why would I be happy?"

Why WOULDN'T he be happy?

A sickening thought occurred to me. Maybe he didn't want another tie to me. Was he getting tired of me? Was he scared the responsibility of a kid would cut off his escape if he ever wanted to leave? Did he WANT to leave me?

Did he not love me anymore?

That hurt. Tears sprang to my eyes as I saw myself months from now, ugly, fat, heavy with child. Would he turn away from me then?

He didn't want this - his baby. Was it because it was half my baby too? If he didn't want me anymore, then certainly a child that was mine also would be an unwelcome remembrance. Would he even have anything to do with it? Would it grow up not knowing its father? That made my heart squeeze with sorrow. No child should ever have to grow up without a parent.

Tears started streaming down my face as all this went through my mind. "Hey," Slendy whispered softly as he reached out to me, holding me, wiping away my tears with a tentacle. "Don't cry little one," he cooed. "Don't be scared, we will fix this."

'Scared?' Why would I be scared?

'Fix this?' Fix what, the baby?

I realized a split second later what he meant. Oh my God.

I shoved away from him. "We are NOT killing our baby!" I snarled.

He stood frozen, staring at me with a wounded expression. "Sky, what choice do we have?"

How could he be so cold? So cruel? This was a BABY! An infant! An innocent little life - one that hadn't even begun yet. How could he think the only option this little life had was death?

'He's a child murderer Sky,' my subconscious reminded me.

Oh crap. He was. How could I forget? But he'd said he'd stopped killing children - he promised me. Why would OUR child be the exception? The tears started falling faster now. Maybe it would be too much temptation for him, having a child around. Maybe he didn't think he'd be able to help himself. Did he really think of himself as such a monster that he didn't think he'd be able to keep from killing his own kid? I didn't think he was a monster...

"No, we have other choices!" I tried to convince him, my voice rising an octave.

"No, we don't," he insisted coldly, his voice also starting to rise.

"Why not?" I half shouted, half sobbed.

"Because I don't want to lose you!" he yelled back.

I stopped. Lose me? So this wasn't about him not wanting me anymore? But why would he think a baby would pull us apart... "Why would you think you would lose me?" I asked in a softer tone.

I gazed at me impassively. "I'm not human Sky." I opened my mouth the ask what that had to do with this, but he held up a finger to silence me. "If I'm not human, what do you think that... THING inside of you will be?"

Oh. Oh fuck. "I - I don't know..." I said.

"Exactly. What if it's like me? What if it's a monster?" His voice was like molten lava. It was burning with some unfathomable amount of pain.

I step forward and wrapped my arms around his waist. "You're not a monster," I said, willing him to believe me.

He ignored me. "Sky, I don't know if the human body is capable of carrying my kind. What if it hurts you? I don't know what I'd do if... if this thing... killed you... It would be my fault...." The fear he must be feeling was eating him from the inside - not fear of being stuck with me like I'd thought, but fear of losing me instead.

Now that I knew what was really bothering him, I felt relieved. It was almost amusing to me how I was more scared about him leaving me than I was about dying.

'You need help.' My subconscious looked at me incredulously. I ignored her as usual.

I buried my face in his stomach. "I'm not going to die. I'm strong Slendy," I promised.

"You won't have to be if you'll just do this. For me, please," he begged.

"No."

"Sky..."

"I'm keeping it. That's final."

He grabbed my face with his hands and tilted my chin up so I would be looking him straight in the eyes if he had any. "Why would you want to risk your life for a monster?"

I scoffed. "It's not a monster," I insisted. My expression softened and I reached up to caress his face. "And this baby is part me, part you. I'd risk my life for anything that was part you. I love you so much."

He leaned his face into my touch. "If it kills you, I'll never forgive myself," he murmured.

"It's gonna be alright," I tried again to get through to him. I wasn't going anywhere. "I love you."

"I love you too. Don't die."