Does life really come down to this? What did I ever get to accomplish in life? I guess my motto finally amounted to something: "life sucks,then you die." I would like to say that my life was important, but I guess everything happens for a reason.
It all started one day at Jefferson High School, and I was sitting all alone at lunch as usual. I have never really had many friends and I am fine with it. I have learned the hard way that you can't trust anyone. Trust=getting hurt and when you don't have any friends you can't get hurt. I was friends with a girl named Candice in the seventh grade and I shared with her one of my deep secrets. I shared with her the one thing I am ashamed of in life. I told her about mom. I told her about me being abused by my mother and how she doesn't care about me. Every night when she gets back from clubbing with all of her slutty friends she is so drunk that she can't even make it up to our front door and after I help her in she pukes all over the floor. When I try to clean it up she forgets what just happened and slaps me saying, "What is wrong with you?! Why would you make a mess on our carpet like that when I just had it cleaned!"
And you know what Candice did? She went and told the principal about my mom and the very next day CPS showed up at my house and they dragged me out of my house and that took away the only family I had. And with the loss of my mother, I also lost my trust in people. From that moment on I was on my own. No foster parent will ever love me, I mean they are only in it for the free meals. Freaking welfare influnences how much we are valued by other people?
I now live with the Wilson's and they have a son that is 17 years old and I am now 15 years old. They make me walk to school every morning and this morning while I was walking something didn't feel right. I didn't know at the time why that was. When I got to school everything seemed normal: the principal did the usual stupid "spanish club" and "anime club" announcements and you can hear the obnoxious cheerleaders complaining to their football-star boyfriends about how fat they are when they are really a size 0.
I was sitting in geography class and the teacher as usual was giving an extremely long lecture on European history. I could feel a cold chill in the room. Out of no where the kid that sat behind me put the end of 45 caliber pistol against my temple and the whole class was silent. I felt the beads of sweat start to form on my forehead. I held my breath and my face started to turn blue.
His name was Robert Langston. He also a nobody like me, an outcast, he got made fun of for being obese. He was also really smart and made really good grades and for some reason I suppose everyone else was just jealous.
The last thing I remember is me sitting there fearing for my life and him saying,"it's nothing personal, just a symbol of my power."
Then black. My life dissapered in a blink of an eye. As I saw the bright white light approach me I thought of the fact that I am not the only one not going to make it home for Christmas. I thought about the 20 little girls and boys from Sandy Hook Elementary and the poem written about them:
Twas' 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38
when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven's gate.
their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air.
they could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.
they were filled with such joy, they didn't know what to say.
they remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.
"where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.
"this is heaven." declared a small boy. "we're spending Christmas at God's house."
when what to their wondering eyes did appear,
but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near.
He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.
then He opened His arms and He called them by name.
and in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring
those children all flew into the arms of their King
and as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace,
one small girl turned and looked at Jesus' face.
and as if He could read all the questions she had
He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of mom and dad."
then He looked down on earth, the world far below
He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe
then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,
"Let My power and presence re-enter this land!"
"may this country be delivered from the hands of fools"
"I'm taking back my nation. I'm taking back my schools!"
then He and the children stood up without a sound.
"come now my children, let me show you around."
excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.
all displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.
and i heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,
"in the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT."
