A Court of Smoke and Moonlight

Chapter Five

Her Majesty had always struggled with controlling her fire, and not letting it control her. You, High Lady, need help with summoning it. Though you have plenty of inner fire, you still try and solve situations with non-violent options. The Valg that you will be battling will be real people; your citizens. You will have to accept that you will have to harm innocent people for the sake of the world.

I frowned deeply. Once I had sent a bit of Beron's fire at the pot, and my mind had burned with fire, I hadn't expected anything like this.

"What are you talking about?"

In the room of darkness in my mind that the jar had sent me, a person appeared. His eyes weren't their usual violet; they were pitch black, filled with carrion and violence.

I stared at my unborn child, tears filling my eyes. I looked down in my hands and found an ashwood dagger.

Identical to the one Amarantha had given me to murder those innocent Fae at my trials.

My hand began to shake. "You can't be serious?" I subconsciously put a hand on my stomach.

Kill him, and you have passed your test, and I will aid you in your fight.

"This... this isn't real, is it?" My voice shook.

Kill him, and pass.

This couldn't be real. It was just a mind trick. But as I lifted my dagger, nearing the boy, I felt my stomach twinge, as though my child was begging me not to. And something deep inside me told me that if I killed his illusion, or whatever it was, something would happen. Something bad.

Kill him.

My bottom lip trembled. "I can't."

The boy stared up at me with black eyes. Unseeing. Deadly.

Do it.

"No!" I screamed, chucking the dagger onto the ground. I fell to my knees, burying my face in my hands. My body shuddered as sobs wracked my body.

Fine.

I looked up, and found my unborn son gasping as a dagger protruded from his chest, blood dribbling down his front. I screamed, grabbing him and pulling his dying body to my chest. As soon as my fingers brushed his arm, however, I was suddenly whirled back to reality in a flash of fire.

I gasped at Aelin, tears running down my cheeks as she gaped at me. She ran over to me, skidding to her knees as I collapsed into her arms, sobbing uncontrollably. I barely heard her quietly murmured words of comfort.

"Feyre!"

I looked up, wiping my eyes as Rhysand gathered me up in his arms, hugging me to his chest. I buried my face in his shoulder as Aelin attempted to explain what had happened with that wretched jar.

But I couldn't think about that fact that I could've cost us the sake of our world. All I could see was our beautiful boy, dying in front of me. And there was nothing I could do about it.