Maybe? || DaiSuga

Chapter 7: Voicemail

it was currently sunday.
a week and two days since what happened with daichi.

in all that time, i hadn't checked my phone. the first seven days i was too busy moping around like a dumbass, and on the eighth day i was making sense of everything in my head.
i had just shortly woken up, so i went and brushed my teeth and took a quick shower. i put on a dark blue tshirt with the word SETTER sprawled across the front in white font color.
kinda reminds me of kageyama haha!
i also wore some grey cotton shorts.
    after doing that, i sat back on my bed, grabbing my phone while i was at it. knowing i hadn't checked it in a week, i took a deep breath, awaiting total chaos.
i turned on my phone. as soon as i looked at it, it seemed as though there were millions of notifications. obviously not as much as a million, but you get the point. i closed my eyes and sighed in exasperation. how the hell am i going to explain this to everyone. i ruffled my hair and opened my eyes, taking a look at the notifications.

26 missed calls
268 messages from 8 chats
1 voicemail

i winced at the amount of calls i had missed and messages i hadn't read.
wait... a voicemail? i never get those. i wonder who was desperate enough to leave one.

i felt kind of guilty to be honest. my teammates. my friends. the people who care about me. who knows how much i made them worry over the past eight days.

i unlocked my phone, checking the missed calls first.
eight missed calls from mom.
god, i must've worried her so much.
my mom works a lot, so she's usually not home due to business trips and getting stuck at work. but she trusts me enough, so i stay home alone. i mean, i'm already old enough to know how to feed and take care of myself, so it wasn't much of a problem. i was already used to it, so it wasn't a big deal for me. she may not be there in person, but she does call every day though. every night, at 9pm sharp, you could hear my phone ringing, my mom calling. even if she wasn't around much, she always supported me and everything i did. she may never come to the games, but she's super supportive of me being on the team, and always enjoys when i tell her about our games, practice games, and even just our practices. she may not know or understand the game well, but she tries her very best. i really appreciate it. she always tells me to give it my all, even if no one is watching.

i even came out to her a while back, so she knows i'm gay. i was so relieved when i found out how supportive and sweet she was when i told her. i think i even cried. when i told her, that was one of the few times she was actually home. i decided to tell her in person and not through the phone. some people may find it easier to say it behind the safety of the screen and i understand why. it can be extremely nerve wracking to come out to someone. but for me? behind a screen? no. not me. my mom and i... we've always been very close. ever since my dad died when i was five, we always stuck together. through thick and thin, we were always by each other's side, supporting one another.

that's why i thought it was better to tell her in person. i've always trusted her and told her everything that happened in my life. she was not only my mom, but my best friend and therapist in a way. i always had the confidence to tell her anything; from feeling sad, to feeling pissed at someone or something, to feeling the greatest i've ever have. i just knew deep down, i could tell her anything, and she wouldn't judge me or scoff it off. she always took everything i said seriously. and i did the same with her. you could even say we were two halves of a whole!

on the topic of coming out to her, she even knows about my huge crush on daichi. she asks about it every night always saying something like, "so are you two together yet?", "when's the wedding? you better invite me!", "has he kissed you yet?", or "so when will i be meeting my future son-in-law?".
she never failed to make me crack a smile. we would always laugh at our silly antics, and sometimes turn them into inside jokes to keep forever. thats actually the reason why she calls me "sugar cookie" (i was on facetime with her one day and i was baking cookies while she watched. i accidentally poured the entire sugar bag into the mix and from there the nickname was born.)
i sighed, a smile forming on my lips. "haha, i better give her a call later and apologize."

i turned my attention back to my other missed calls.

two missed calls from hinata.
mm he's a good kid. i'll text him later to let him know i'm okay. wouldn't want him to worry.

3 missed calls from asahi.
he probably worried his ass off, i thought, giggling.

and-

13 missed calls from daichi...
oh god... i- i feel horrible. he probably thinks it's his fault or something. agh i'll call him later as well.

after checking the missed calls, i checked all my unread messages. most of them were the guys asking where i was and if anyone had heard from me from the karasuno group chat. then i checked the other messages.

hinata my child🧡:
hey suga-san! i hope you're okay!
i also hope you come back to practice soon!

i chuckled. he really was a good kid. i decided to reply to him.

sugar✨:
hey hinata! i'm doing fine now!
and don't worry, i'll come back to practice tmrw!

hinata my child🧡:
oh YAYYYYY!!! CANT WAIT SEE YOU THERE!!

somehow, hinata's texts always brought a smile to my face. he was always so full of energy, it's was honestly kind of blinding, even behind a screen.

after answering to all the others who had messaged me (asahi, noya, ennoshita, yamaguchi, and even kageyama!), i turned to the last unanswered texts.

daichi.

deadchi⚰️:
hey suga
are you okay?
you weren't at school or at practice
is everything alright?
suga?
hello?
suga?...
i- um were all worried, yk?
when you get the chance uh.. please call or text me
either is fine
i just want to hear from you...

now this... this hurt me. i felt so awful. i felt so fucking guilty. i knew daichi would worry but, this was much more than i expected to be honest.
dammit daichi... why do always have to hurt me like this. it's not even your fault...

i let out an exasperated sighed, rubbing my face with my hand.
ugh i'll just listen to the voicemail and call it a day. i turned to check the time.

12:37pm

dammit, it's still so early though. oh forget it, i'll probably eat something and go out for a walk later.

i clicked on the voicemail, still wondering who it was. i put in on speaker, then placed my phone on the bed.

a moment of silence, then...

hey suga. um i just wanted to say that i uh, i'm worried about you. i don't know what happened, but you seemed off ever since you went to the bathroom that night. is it something i did? something said? if it's too personal, then you obviously don't have to say what happened but.... i do wanna hear from you. it's been days. you haven't come to school or practice. no one has heard of you. you haven't answered or seen any of the messages, and you don't pick up when we call you. your mom even called me, you know? she sounded worried. the whole team is worried about you, too. we just... we just want to hear from you. i want to hear from you. i hope you can eventually answer, if possible, the sooner the better. well um, i guess goodbye for now...

there was a long moment of silence. i stared at my phone. i didn't know what to say, or how to react. i just stared at the black screen. i was about to pick up my phone when-

godammit suga. why can't i just tell you? i wish i could. keeping this... it hurts so much. i've never kept any secrets from you. we never lie to each other. i really wish i could tell you that i don't like michimiya. i never have. i was talking about you that night.

January 30, 2021
(A/N: holy asahi- this is the longest chapter i've written😳 wOoP aCcOmPliShMeNt✨💃🏼 well idrk what to say sou i hope you liked this chapter and i'll see yall in chapter 8☺️
-Lena🤍)