Flower Petals

-23-

Over 15 years previous to today, Minerva McGonagall was alone on Halloween. She was often alone. Her husband was long gone, she found herself a childless widow, which had been a great fear in her life. 

She was living at Hogwarts since her house with her husband seemed so alive with memories and love. She threw herself into her work, avoiding any kind of emotion about the past, maybe death wasn't the worst thing, he'd avoided so much heartache and pain in life.

She thought these things constantly, perhaps he was better off, but she knew even if they could spend that short while together again, Minerva would give anything, even her life as well.

Albus summoned her, in the middle of the night urgently. She moved slowly, what could ever be this important this late at night? Her feet dragged and her head slumped as she walked into Albus's quarters, everyone else seemed to already be there. 

Two babies cried in a corner, and Albus's eyes looked into hers, pale.

Albus's next words would change her forever.

 She fell to the ground slapping her knees on the tile, sobbing, retching out horrible screams and sending shock waves through the castle. The walls shook and the stairs creaked. Paintings fell off walls and students woke. Still, Minerva kept screaming, she screamed, she sobbed, she took in more air and continues the process.

 Her children seemed dead in front of her. A boy she'd raised to be good when he came from only evil, was a murderer. His best friend, the golden boy turned to man by love, love which Minerva had watched grow every year, was dead. A love which they had now spent longer denying existed, then had spent being together. A girl, beautiful, strong. A girl who reminded Minerva more and more everyday or herself, was dead. 

And what of the friends? What of them? Of the rest of their troublesome family?

She screamed, so long and so loudly it felt that her lungs burst open.

Remus grabbed her suddenly. She wasn't aware he was even present. He held her, close to his chest so that she could hear his heartbeat. He was just 21. James and Lily, and Sirius were just 21.

Lupin had been found outside the house, puking after he had a bad feeling. He was clutching Harry and Alli, one in each arm, close to his body. 

Snape had already found them, but he couldn't risk reporting it himself, Albus didn't want suspicion thrown over him. So Severus sent a charm containing a nightmare to Lupin, who in turn came to check on his family.

He spent almost an hour holding James, he couldn't move. He couldn't breath, he just wanted Sirius. He hadn't woken him up at home o come with him, but he should've.

He just seemed so peaceful lying in their bed. 

James's glasses were broken, and his eyes open, his head was turned facing Harry's nursery, begging. Remus fixed his hair, he hated when Lily messed it up, he liked leaning to the left. He polished his glasses with his shirt. He smelled him, he smelled alive. Like cologne and apples, like he always did. 

Remus's eyes spilled tears so religiously that they could flood the ocean, apologizing after every one to James, for getting his shirt wet. His brother who insisted on creating Animagus when Lupin felt alone, who helped him propose to Sirius, who sat around flirting with Lily while Lupin chose flower arrangements for their wedding. 

This was not a body, this was James.

He had an awful, sudden realization, Lily, the babies...his heart dropped.

Lily was in the nursery. Remus found himself hoping that since James was dead, Lily would have escaped. He was wrong. He couldn't force himself to say James's name. But he muttered now;