Titan eren x Titan reader:
This was written by Rebecca pitman
-@rxbecca.05 on Instagram
this is purely for comedic purposes, it is satire.
Y/n had been watching from afar as the colossal titan breached the wall in Shiganshina, wondering what it might be like inside. They remembered their life as a human before, and wondered if the descriptions of people inside the walls that they had heard were accurate. Y/n missed being human, they missed their family, friends, and most of all, they missed having sex. You see, titans don't have any reproductive organs, so no matter how horny they felt, they could never be satisfied. After watching other titans, y/n concluded that most of them could not remember when they were human, or even think, so why were they different? Y/n had looked for these answers but eventually gave up as there was not much beyond the walls that would give these answers, at least not on that island.
5 years later, y/n finally gained the courage to venture inside the walls. Every day they had seen titans flooding in and out of the walls, roaming freely. They thought that if the others could do it with such ease, why couldn't they? Y/n got up and made their way towards the wall. They decided that the best way to go would be to join a group of titans that were also on their way in, so they did. Once they got through the walls, y/n noticed that many humans seemed to be flying around, soaring from rooftop to rooftop with remarkable accuracy. It was mesmerising. Y/n stood in place, staring in awe. So this is what it was like inside the walls. It had been a while since they had been this close humans.
Y/n snapped back to reality when one of the humans suddenly spotted them. Within seconds, the human was right beside them. Y/n wasn't bothered with killing humans like the other titans, they just wanted to see if what they had been told was true, so they grabbed the human, placed him atop a roof, and continued to walk through the streets. The human stared for a few seconds, a look of confusion spread along his face, before saying
"We've got a 16 metre abnormal!" "Abnormal?" y/n thought, "Are there others like me?" What this human had said had a great affect on y/n. They paused for a second and zoned out, thinking this over in their head. Did humans hold the answers they were looking for?
The next thing y/n knew, almost all of the humans that were near them, were now dead. Y/n looked to their right and spotted a bearded titan with a small blond haired boy in his mouth, and a brown haired boy with green eyes trying the save the blond boy from the titan. They recognised the brown haired boy, he was the human that had spotted them earlier. Y/n watched as the brown haired boy struggled to save his friend, and just as they thought he was going to give up, he climbed into the mouth of the bearded titan and got the blond boy out. The blond boy watched in horror as the brown haired boy failed to make it out of the titan's mouth. The brown haired boy reached his arm out of the titan's mouth, and the titan slammed it's mouth shut, cleanly cutting off the brown haired boy's arm, and swallowed him. Y/n thought that there was no way the descriptions they had heard while they were human were true, they all said that people inside the walls were heartless demons who wanted to kill everyone. Surely if that were the case, these people would not be sacrificing themselves for others.
A little while later, y/n heard a noise louder than any they had heard before and decided to go and see what it was. They got a little closer and spotted titans fighting each other in the distance, of course they had to get a better look. Y/n got close enough to be able to see what was happening clearly, but was weary not to get too close as they might've gotten caught up in the fight also. One of the titan's immediately caught y/n's eye, he looked to be around 16 metres tall with glowing green eyes and a sharp jawline. In this moment, y/n missed sex more than they ever had in their life. The green eyed titan let out a beckoning roar, which only caused y/n to become even more aroused. He killed the titan that he was fighting and glanced towards y/n before moving along to fight other titans. Y/n spotted humans watching this titan's movements, but he didn't seem bothered about them. Could he have been one of the abnormals that the brown haired boy had mentioned earlier? This intrigued y/n and strangely strengthened the earlier feeling of arousal, they followed him at a distance.
The green eyed titan spotted y/n and they tried to duck behind a house, fearing that he may want to kill them too. He walked toward y/n, the ground shaking with each step, until finally, he made it to the house that they were behind.
"ROOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRR"
The deafening sound echoed, surrounding them, making y/n tremble in fear. Never had they been so scared of another titan, yet confusingly, they were still turned on. They got lost in the moment, thinking about how the worst part of being a titan was lacking genitalia. Y/n craved to be touched by this titan they had only just met, the feeling was overwhelming. The green eyed titan let out another roar, yet this time it was slightly different. He no longer seemed to have the intent to kill as he dropped his stance, he had a different look in his eye, it was almost.... seductive?
Y/n stood up straight and locked eyes with the titan. Y/n was captivated by his looks, he was even more attractive up close. What happened next seemed as if it were in slow motion. The green eyed titan stepped closer to y/n and flung them over his shoulder. He carried them for a few steps before slamming them down face first on top of a building, leaving them bent over in front of him. Y/n was filled with embarrassment, even though they knew there was nothing there for this alluring titan to see. The green eyed titan edged closer to y/n, letting out the loudest roar yet. This roar let y/n know exactly how the titan felt, he was just as enticed as they were. Y/n thought about what was going to happen next, but their thinking was cut short by a sudden pain. The green eyed titan had ripped open a hole between y/n's legs, and before they knew it, he had slipped two fingers inside of it. Pain quickly turned to pleasure as he forced his fingers further into this hole.
"Why does this feel so good?" y/n thought "It's just a wound he tore open, it shouldn't feel like this." The sensation flooded y/n's body and they could no longer hold back, they let out what would have been a moan if they were not a titan, it was more like a soft growl, more animalistic. This was better than any sex y/n could remember from when they were human.
"AAAARRRRGGHHHHHHH" the titan groaned as he began to use more force. Y/n could feel could feel their body healing around his fingers, which only increased the feeling of satisfaction.
"If only he had a penis" y/n thought. The green eyed titan removed his fingers from the hole, y/n was disappointed as they thought it was over, they were wrong. The titan flipped y/n over, keeping eye contact as he lowered his face toward the hole made previously. It had almost healed already, so this time he bit a chunk off to reopen the wound. Y/n got a glimpse of the titan's tongue as he spat out the chunk of them that he had just bit off. His tongue was longer than any they had seen before, and almost came to a point at the end. He made eye contact once more before his eyes focused on the wound. He moved his mouth closer to the hole and y/n felt something wet touch them, it was his tongue. He teased the entrance with his tongue, moving in circles around it, and it even slipped in a few times. This feeling was more overwhelming than anything y/n had ever felt.
"Why does it feel like this? There's nothing there!" y/n thought whilst trying to suppress the noise which was begging to leave their mouth.
"RRRROOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!!" Y/n let out a roar even louder than the green eyed titan had earlier. This was a first for y/n, they had never really "roared" as they never felt the need to, but they just couldn't help it.
The green eyed titan lifted his head back up and looked at y/n. There was saliva dripping off the end of his tongue before he closed his mouth again. Y/n was so flustered, they had never thought of any titan as being "hot" before this moment. Y/n saw the titans eyes dart to the left as titans flooded the area, the roar y/n had let out had attracted them. The titans and the green eyed titan began fighting, just as before. Y/n was left unable to move. This time, it seemed as if the other titans were going to win, they were biting at the green eyed titan and y/n was almost sure he was going to lose, but they still couldn't move. Suddenly, the green eyed titan had turned the tables on the other titans and killed them all with ease. He then collapsed. Y/n was concerned, his nape was intact, so why did it seem as though he were dying?
Something ripped its way out of the green eyed titan's nape in a cloud of steam, y/n had never seen this happen before. What was it? Was the green eyed titan dead? The steam cleared and y/n could see that what had come out of the titan's nape was nothing other than a human. Y/n had only heard of the titans who could switch between human and titan forms, they had never seen one for themselves.
"He must be one of the nine." they thought. Y/n wanted to get a closer look at what was going on, they struggled, but managed to get up. As they got closer, they could see who the human was. Y/n froze, it was the brown haired boy from earlier, this boy looked around 15 years old.
"I'm a pedophile." y/n thought. Then a tiny man came over, span around like a beyblade and sliced open y/n's nape and they died.
THE END, finally.
