Love is Cruel

Chapter 1

I was asking myself one question: What was I doing? How did it come to this? How did I get to this point in my life where everything was so screwed up?

Well, maybe to answer that question I should probably go back to the beginning. The day I moved to London was literally the first day of the rest of my life. That day did not only mean the beginning of something new and exciting, It also meant the end of life as I knew it.

If I would have known what was to come, would I have taken this step? I wouldn't know.

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At 25 years of age, I was about to start a new life in a city that amazed and terrified me in equal measure. I wasn't so sure why I was doing this to myself. I had never even been in a town bigger than Chester, where I went to uni, with a population of about 120,000 people.

I grew up in Holmes Chapel in Cheshire and never went to any major city. It always scared the hell out of me just imagining the crowded streets. My dad was happy to oblige and keep me away from any city. I probably had that from him. Crowds always made him antsy.

I was now sitting next to him in the train station, waiting for my train to arrive. I looked at him from the corner of my eye. He was scanning the crowd, but for what I couldn't tell. He was probably getting anxious, wanting to get out of here as soon as possible.

I sighed. I would be leaving him alone here. Sure, he had his best friend, but there was no more family left here. I was all he's got.

And I would be gone in a bit as well. At least for quite some time, not knowing when I would have the time and money to visit him. I would have to settle in and start my new job before I could think about that.

I loved my dad. I was a lot like him - quiet, keeping to myself. I was a tall guy with curly hair. I had that from him, too. But my eyes I had from my mum. After she died it was hard on both my dad and I. But I thought it was especially hard on him, since every time he looked into my eyes, I reminded him of her.

I didn't like to think about that fateful day, so many years ago, when she was ripped away from us. Especially not now that I would be leaving my dad behind to start a new life somewhere that seemed so far away from here, from him.

I checked the board and I realized my train would be here soon, so we got up and walked the few meters to the edge of the platform. When I saw the train coming I took a deep breath and turned towards my dad. His eyes were shining with tears and I hugged him tight.

"I love you, dad. I'll call you as soon as I'm in the apartment."

He hugged me back and didn't let go until the train came to a standstill next to us.

"Take care of yourself, Harry. And call as often as you can."

I laughed quietly.

"I will, I promise. And you don't forget to check your emails regularly. I'll be writing to you about everything. OK?"

"OK," he grumbled.

I gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"See you soon, dad."

I moved out of his embrace and got onto the train, struggling with my bags until I found my seat. I took one last glance out the window at my dad. He looked lost and I felt unbelievably guilty for leaving him alone. But I needed to do this for myself. And I had promised myself I would bring him to London as soon as I could afford it. I didn't want him to spend too much time by himself.

He had been reluctant to agree when I told him about these plans. He had his home and memories in Holmes Chapel. His best friend lived here as well. They spent a lot of time together, watching football mostly. But we would see about the future. I smiled fondly at him before settling into my seat, when the train started rolling.