Your Eyes Are My Canvas(Levi x Reader Modern AU)

Chapter 013

TW//CONTAINS CUTTING AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

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Y/N's POV

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We make it to my house and get Levi settled in, he ends up going to shower and I go into my offices. I was hungry but I lost my appetite. A close the door to the small room and sit down in front of my easel, looking at the various art supplies that used to belong to my mom.

God, I missed her.

I suddenly felt the heavy weight on my shoulder get heavier and heavier, my throat tightening. I grab some random paint and just spread it across the canvas, not caring if it made such an ugly color from the mixing. I take I huge brush and just start brushing it across the canvas, going in up and down motions. I grabbed some more pant and a fan brush, making a rainbow shaped stroke. I took some black paint and just squeezed it. I squeezed it until there was no more. I ruined the painting with it.

I ruined it.

I set the brush down and look down at my hands. They weren't even messy. I get up and walk to the mirror, looking back at the ugly reflection.

They stared at me with dull eyes. They stared with hatred and sadness. It looked disgusting. I couldn't look anymore. I look at the small box cutter that had been set on the bathroom sink. I took it and locked the door, the sensation to see my own blood and feel physical pain rushing through me. I sat down on the toilet and got to work.

I sliced the blade across my soft wrist, seeing the red liquid swell up and drip down my arm. I slit another scratch. Once I had started I couldn't stop. All my problems flooded my mind, each cut symbolizing each terrible memory that crossed my mind. And then the last thought.

The last thought that only happened recently.

That letter.

I didn't cut myself, instead I set the blade down, squeezing my wrist. My face turned to a scowl, I hated it.

I hated you.

I hate you.

I wish you never came into my life.

You're pathetic.

You're the devil.

Die.

Just hurry up and-

"Y/N?"

I look to the door and grab some bandages from the sink cabinet, wrapping some around my wrist and pulling my sleeve down. I fix a small smile on my face and flush the toilet, turning on the sink and washing my hands. I open the door and see Levi with a concerned face.

"Y/N, let's talk."

"About?"

"Tch, you'll find out..."

He grabs my wrist and pulls me outside of my office. I wince a little, holding in my little squeak.

We make it to my bedroom and he closes the door, leaning against it with his arms crossed. I sit down on the bed and intertwine my fingers, feeling the awkward silence fall between us.

"It's about your girlfriend, right?"

He only stays quiet. That said it all.

"I won't get in between you two."

"Look, Y/N, I l-

"Save it for your girlfriend, Levi. It's unfaithful."

I see his fists ball. I angered him didn't I? I get up and smile at him.