My Life In My Eyes

Last Night

Tonight is the night before I'm flying to L.A, and I'm not going to see any of my friends and my mother until a year or so. I wonder what's going to happen next.

It took me exactly 3 hours to pack all of my clothes and other valuables into 2 suitcases. The suitcases I actually used were my mothers, since the last time I traveled was when I was eight and the only suitcase I had was a miniature pink Hello Kitty suit case. Back then was a simpler time.

As I think about all the things California has to offer, I don't feel as bad as I used to. But, I also think about how my mother will handle the news once she comes home from the hospital, and how she will be handling going to jail. At that moment, tears start to well up in my eyes.

Why do I have to be the only child with a single mother that's going to jail? Why can't I be like my other friends that have two loving parents that's on their side? Why is it so unfair that my life has to be this way?

I rub the tears away from my eyes, and go downstairs to the front door with my luggages and keep them down there until tomorrow. All I have to do is clear my mind from anything that's stopping me from doing what is needed to be done. I must go on that plane tomorrow. I must go there and live with my father for a year.

Before the day is coming to a close end, I open my laptop, roaming all the sites that include tourists guides in Los Angeles and the attractions, and of course, schools. It's going to be especially different to go to a new school where you don't know anyone... especially about the fact that I live all the way in Rochester, Minnesota. Plus, people will already know each other since it'll be sophomore year. The more I think about this, the more I wish I could just cancel the plane ticket to California.

And, my father probably wouldn't even bother taking care of me because he's either too busy caring about his famous lifestyle or that he just honestly doesn't care about me as much. When I was speaking on the phone with him, it seemed like he almost forgot who Isabelle, my mother, was. This showed how little he remembered from our family.

The home phone started ringing; it's from the hospital.

"H-hello?" I say hesitantly.

"Yes, this is Dr. McAndrew calling from the recovery room at St. Paul Medical Center. Who is speaking?"

"Uh, Alexa."

"Wonderful, is it all right if I put you on the line with your mother?" he asks.

"Yes." Oh no, what if she already knows what's the whole plan going to be and where she's going to go for practically the rest of the year.

The line has slight shuffling noises, but then I hear something finally.
"Alexa?"

"Mom! How are you?"

She groans a little from such pain she is experiencing. Deep down inside, my heart feels like shattering.
"Okay, but doctors say that I might stay at the hospital for another week or so because of my ribcage. And, I forgot to mention, your father."

Oh, yea. Here's where it's going to need more explanation.
"Well, you see, uh, you were drinking and driving..."

There is no response. I continue.

"And, you have to go off to jail for a year 'cause apparently you did some crimes before I was born or something like that, I don't know. Mom please don't be mad at me! I had no choice! I couldn't live by myself for a year without you!" Tears welled up in my eyes again, but I just closed my eyes shut so they wouldn't come out.

The line was still silent, until I heard a faint breath of hers.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry I had to do this to you. I don't know how I could live with myself like this-" her voice started to become uncontrollably shaky from her urge to cry too. I could understand. We both started to sob.

"Why would I do this! What is wrong with me?!" she exclaimed as she tried to gasp for air. I tried to respond, but it was challenging for me too to the even speak despite of the fact that I can barely breathe from my constant crying.

"Mom, it's o-okay. I do-don't want to leave you l-like th-this. I'm s-sorry."
I couldn't take it anymore; I hung up