Red Converse, Piano Keys, and Love Stories

Ten

Many years have passed. I had to fight through financial hell to get that money. At one point, I remember wondering if it was even worth it. Eventually, however, I did get the money. The shock was too great for me to attempt to describe. Basically, there was enough money to put me through Stanford medical school twice.

I moved out of Brookings, and began school at Stanford with only one gap year. Nadia, Ryota, and I would meet up almost every weekend. Usually I would go to San Francisco and stay with them. That's how I started to become friends with Kaito, Ryota's younger brother.

Kaito seemed to be in between things in his life. He wasn't really sure what to do after getting his Associate's degree at the local public university back in Brookings. One weekend when I was staying with Nadia, Kaito happened to be staying with Ryota too. The four of us beat the shit out of San Francisco that weekend. It was fun, but I couldn't help to become nostalgic about the days the four of us had included Ivan. I missed him, probably almost everyday.

I ended up confiding in Kaito about how much I missed Ivan. I didn't want to talk about Ivan to Nadia and I especially didn't want to talk to Ryota about him. Ivan was his best friend after all. Nadia once mentioned that the two of them still talked a lot, but I changed the subject. I didn't want to think about him yet, because I still didn't know what I wanted to think.

When I talked to Kaito, he didn't ask any questions. He just listened and made some jokes. He made me laugh, and he even made me feel normal. After he went back to Brookings we continued to talk a lot.

When my third year of college began, I needed to move off campus and at the same time Kaito was looking for a reason to leave Brookings. Eventually Kaito decided to transfer to San Jose State University, and so we decided to rent a studio apartment together in Mountain View. It was tiny and really expensive, but it was close to both of our campuses and we loved it.

Living with Kaito was more fun than I ever could have imagined it would be. We knew each other's schedules really well and we helped each other with our problems. Kaito was a kind, thoughtful person, and sometimes he would yell at me when I was acting like an idiot; just like Nadia did. He was the perfect person for me to live with and a fantastic friend. Sometimes we would sit in his bed eating Chinese food and laughing for hours about nothing. We stayed up late and studied together often. He had the most genuine laugh and a blindingly bright smile. We were really close.

About a month or two after Kaito and I moved in together, Nadia and Ryota came to stay with us for the weekend. We were third years and they were fourth years. Ryota had been offered a job at a photography company. When he told us, Kaito was really happy for him. Nadia told us she was almost done with her bachelors in teaching and her next step was to get licensed. She was hoping to teach high school English and History.

I was working on my major in Biochem, and I remember feeling really lucky because my friends were so supportive of me becoming a doctor. I was still deciding on a specialty, but I was leaning toward cardiology. I bet Ivan would have thought that was funny. I'm sure he would still support it though. Anyway, I was on track to graduate early and I was studying for the MCAT in order to get into Stanford Medical School.

Kaito was having more trouble than the rest of us. He was studying English, but he still wasn't sure what kind of career he wanted to pursue. Nadia suggested teaching and Ryota said he should look into creative writing. After they left, I remember we were cleaning up. Kaito asked me what I thought while he was doing the dishes.

"What do you think I should do?" He asked

"I don't know," I shrugged.

"Come on, I know you've got some ideas swirling around in that judgemental, angry head," he said with a smile.

I laughed and said, "All I know is this: you're organized, a good person to talk to, and a pretty damn decent writer."

"Yeah, maybe," he said chuckling, "It sounds like you're describing an editor."

"Hm... did you ever consider becoming an editor?"

"Not really," he said with furrowed brows.

"Well maybe you should," I said while walking out of the room, "You're like a sponge."

"What?" he said.

I stopped.

"You're always absorbing different kinds of knowledge. You'd be great as an editor. You know, yelling at writers and stuff could be your thing. You're like an angry sponge."

He was washing the dishes after all, so he took the opportunity and threw a sponge at me. I threw it back as if declaring war. We spent the rest of the night making an even bigger mess that we would have to clean up. We were always doing dumb things, but we had so much fun.

Kaito decided editing and publishing was something he wanted to pursue after all. He decided to continue his major in English emphasising in Creative Writing with a double minor in Business Marketing and Public Relations.

We were all making decisions and pushing towards our dreams. I often wondered if Ivan was doing the same. I wondered if his family accepted his decisions, I wondered if Clarissa was there, and I wondered if he was happy. Sometimes this wondering would come over me and make me tired. Sometimes when Kaito would come home, he could just tell I was thinking about him.

I missed him.