One Shots

Rain Filled Phonebooths

Saul wouldn't be able to tell you when he exactly started to have feelings for the redhaired spitfire he called a friend, what he could tell you is he would do anything for the man who had more attitude then anyone he had ever seen. He was currently in a phonebooth, of all places looking out into the rain soaked city he couldn't remember the name of, wondering how it had all come to this. Well he knew, he had finally gotten the courage, the liquid courage to confront his feelings about Axl, and told Axl, only to then run out into the rain and anywhere he could to get away from him, which led him to a phonebooth on some street he didn't knwo the name of, soaked to the bone and watching the rain gather in the storm drain and almost flood the street outside the phone booth which was somehow even colder then the rain outside.

When everything started, Saul just went with it, not knowing how much of a hole he had dug himself in until it was too late to even try getting out, believe him he tried, he tried to dig himself out, the dirt under his nails getting worse and worse during every atttempt, every time Axl let him cry when it all became too much, it just dug him deeper, and finally he got to a point where he didn't care anymore.

In fact, he wanted to dig the hole deeper, it was comforting almost to know that he couldn't go anywhere. To know even though Axl would reject him in reality, in his mind he would forever be gone for him. That at least in his mind, Axl wouldn't go anywhere. That wasn't the case in reality. Saul didn't hear Axl's words, his mind was too loud, screaming at him, words going a mile a minute on how he should have just kept his mouth shut, on how at least suffering in silence he would never had to face the reality. He could go on with just crying on Axl's shoulder, laughing and getting drunk, even if he had told Axl about it when he was drunk, they probably wouldn't even remember it the next day.

Looking out into the lonely cold night, Saul thought that maybe it would be best that way. He could still cling to Axl, on rainy cold nights like this, they would be shut up in any room they could find with a roof, passing around a bottle of booze until they were just at the point of tipsy almost. For Saul it was when his brain would leave him alone, when things would go warm, and the thoughts in his head didn't taste so bitter on his tongue.

Those were the times when he could look over at Axl and finally be able to really look. Look how his eyes had a bit of gold in them when the light hit them right, almost as if Axl was the sun, and Saul had been frozen his entire life, finally finding the sun to melt the empty space that was so cold in his mind. A place that needed the warmth he could never find for it.

But once his mouth had spilled the words, the words bottled for years that finally came to light, he knew he would never feel that warmth again, he shut down and ran.

Looking out at the rain that was pouring on that pitch black night, making his way out of the booth and into the street, Saul looked up at the pitch black sky, and as he stared up into it, the rain almost became warm with how cold it was, and Saul knew that the empty space in his mind was where he belonged, and the cold, numbing rain was welcoming him home.