Hitoka POV
_____________________________I always wondered,
›'How will my future look like?'‹This question bothered me my whole life since I was a kid. 'Will I get a job?..Will I get a good job?...Am I going to be happy?..Will everything be okay? Am I going to be healthy?'
These questions, gave me really bad anxiety attacks. I always made sure not to disappoint my mother, or everyone around me. I didn't want to be the lowest of them all, but I didn't want to stand out either. My biggest goal in life was: 'Don't get poor. You don't have to be rich just don't get poor.'
While other kids wanted to become a doctor or a police officer, this was my biggest goal I ever had.
'Don't disappoint your mother or everyone around you' , That wasn't a goal, it was a rule. I feared to break this rule even in the slightest. Every wrong word, Every wrong look, Every wrong answer..spooked the heck out of me.
'Don't be shy, don't be confident.
Don't be too happy, don't be too sad.
Don't be loud, don't be silent.
Don't change yourself, don't be yourself.''Will these goals and rules help me in life?' ,I asked myself. 'If I just could be reborn as a rich girl, in a rich family..' , I wished. People always said: „Money doesn't buy happiness."
'But I'd rather cry in a mansion than cry on the streets.'
For me, money was the most important thing in life. It was kinda sad to be honest. 'Not having a goal, beside living a normal life.' , 'But..I don't really mind. It won't change anyway.'
I was wrong.
The day I met her, saw her and kissed her, changed something in me. It's like, my eyes opened, and she was the key. 'But why she?'
'What is so special about her?'
'Why do I feel like this when I'm around her?'
'What is this feeling?'Was it her beautiful shiny hair?
Were it her magnificent eyes?
Was it her perfect face structure?It wasn't any of that..
It was her straightforwardness.
Her friendly and gorgeous smile.
Her calming personality.
Her protecting side.
Her gentle touch.
Her comforting attitude.
Her soft kisses.
Her confidence.
Her amazing talents.
Her.I blushed when I thought about her. Little did I know, that she's going to be my girlfriend. Little did I know, It's going to be more than "just a small crush". It ended up me and her cuddling on her bed everyday. I didn't even know she's going to be the one, confessing to me first.
My goals changed from wanting money,
to wanting to be with her forever. My fears changed from disappointing someone, to losing her. She brought so much positive changes in me. I didn't know I needed someone who cares about me so much.„Hitoka-Chan?"
„Mh?"
„Do you ever want to get married?"
'Wait...Did she really just ask that? What should I say? I mean, of course I want to! But how do I say it? I don't want to seem weird..'
„It's okay if you don't-"
„I would love to!"
I mentally facepalmed myself. 'I could have just said „Yes." Ughhhh..."
„Haha, That's cute me too."
I had a light blush on my face. I turned away from her and stared at the floor still cringing over my stupid response.
„What would you want to wear at the wedding?"
„Uhm..I wouldn't like a white dress..Maybe a light green one? Or pastel pink..Something special." ‚
I smiled .„What about you?"
„Hmm...a black, red, or dark blue dress. I can't decide. But I don't want a white dress either."
I laughed in response.
„I bet a red one would look beautiful on you!"Kiyoko answered with a wholesome smile.
„You would rock pastel pink colors."I blushed at her response.
„We would be gorgeous..."Whatever our future is going to look like,
My goal is being with you,
forever.
YOU ARE READING
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