Russian Roulette: Family secrets [2021 version]

Ch. 13: What the fuck? You too?

Not wanting to leave the bed, Jace stayed there with a warning of only five minutes more to himself. The sun already poured into the room and bathed them in its sharp, warm rays. One ray, in particular, made his day. The one that graced over and lit up Phoenix's handsome face. He looked at peace as he slept, snoring softly. It was not really a snore, more like content rumbling from time to time. His dark, tousled hair fell over his forehead, and his dark lashes rested against his tan cheeks.

Jace could watch him all day, every day, if the universe gave him a chance. Why did he have to fall for the one guy who would never settle for a douchebag like him?

And Phoenix would be settling if he chose Jace, that much Jace was certain of. He knew himself, though always the jester, he was serious and honest with himself, and he was not boyfriend material, despite what he had hoped for with Phoenix years earlier.

He was a sleazy man-whore with little to no morals on the subject. He knew his eyes would wander, and he would feel attracted to other people. It did not matter if it were men or women, he simply liked good-looking people.

But he had feelings for Phoenix. He wanted to be somebody Phoenix would find interesting outside the bedroom. Somebody he would like to talk with and date, and Jace knew what Phoenix deserved was not something he could live up to. Their club-relationship in Dublin had been the closest they would ever get to the dream of a relationship. And Phoenix had been perfect in every way, but he had changed.

Even if Jace wanted to change, it all came down to Phoenix anyway. Every time they had hooked up, Phoenix had sneaked out afterward. It had made no difference if they were in Phoenix's or Jace's apartment or some hotel somewhere. Phoenix had been gone the morning after every single time, and when they met later, Phoenix never mentioned it or acknowledged what had occurred.

Actions spoke louder than words.

Jace was the eternal booty call to Phoenix.

He would make an effort, though. If Phoenix one day wanted an actual relationship, Jace would be all in. He loved Phoenix enough, and Phoenix would fill all his needs. There would be no reason to look at others. He only did it because he could not get his number one choice in life.

Sighing, Jace lovingly looked at Phoenix one more time. All he wanted to do was reach out and caress that five o'clock shadow on the man's chin. Jace refrained and slid out of the bed as carefully as possible to not disturb Sleeping Beauty.

He walked to the bathroom connected with his bedroom and did his morning routine, emerging twenty minutes later, shaved and newly showered.

Absentmindedly, he pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, not caring at all what he swiped down from the shelves in his closet, and exited the bedroom with one last look at Phoenix.

He saw Cracker on the couch, still sleeping and cuddling one of Jace's throw pillows as a teddy bear. He guessed Mackenzie and Gareth were in his guest room, sleeping too.

Tired and with a budding hangover, Jace tiptoed barefoot to the kitchen, damning Mackenzie to hell for the girls night, though he had to admit it had been fun.

The smell of freshly made coffee met Jace when he entered the kitchen from the living room. Gareth sat on a bar stool by the kitchen island. Well, he hung, but he was there, nonetheless.

Without a word, Gareth pointed at the coffee machine, showing what Jace already knew.

He sorely needed a caffeine fix.

"So..." Gareth said hoarsely, clearly marked by too many cigarettes and more than his share of alcohol. "Did you two kiss and make up?"

"You know?" Jace looked at him in disbelief.