Spring Day

Chapter 2: Weeping Angels

**Trigger warning: Mentions of death and mental illness.

"I Will Be" - Avil Lavigne
"Gone Away" - Offspring
"Feathery Wings" - Aurelio Voltaire
"It's Been Awhile" - Staind

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Yoongi's point of view:

"Hyung," I suddenly heard a voice call out into the silence of the dying day. "I've missed you." There was no denying the voice belonged to him.

Jeon Jungkook.

The boy I left behind two years ago when I knew I couldn't stay.  Trying my best to stay away from him, to cover my tracks, and now here he is. But I didn't turn to face him. Not even when he called out for me once again. "Hyung," his voice wavered. "Please..."

I swallowed the lump forming in my throat, closing my eyes and taking a long deep breath. I knew this day would eventually come no matter how much I tried to stay away. He would still manage to find me.

Slowly standing up, I took a minute before turning around to face him. The sun was setting behind him, turning his dark locks a golden honey brown. In just two years he had grown taller, but he still had that boyishly adorable face that everyone fell for. His eyes bore into me with an expression I wasn't expecting. I thought he would hate me for leaving him, but instead I'm met with his large doe eyes brimming with tears.

"Jungkook-ah," I finally said after no words were spoken between us for some time. Saying his name for the first time since the day I left felt like coming home after a long and exhausting day at work. It felt even more so when the single word slipped from my mouth like an affirmation of recognizing his existence as he lunged forward grabbing onto me with the same desperation and hysterical sobs he did when I took him from the room when Gem took his last breath.

That day, I could never forget it. Watching the light drain from Gem's eyes as he choked on his breath, the strength leaving his body as his hands could no longer grip ours into his own, right before the machine gave that chilling flat toned beep that no one ever wants to hear.

Jungkook was repeating himself over and over. Crying out Gem's name shaking the boy's body as if it would wake him up from nothing more than a deep sleep and pleading for Gem to come back to him. Their parents held one another as their mother clung to her husband for dear life. My heart shattered at the sight, more than the thought of just having lost my best friend, but watching my other falling apart in front of me and not being able to do a single thing for him.

The nurses and doctors ran in telling at us we needed to leave. Jungkook wouldn't listen, he wouldn't leave his brother's side. It took all my power to drag him from the room as he collapsed onto the hallway floor holding onto me in a fit of heart wrenching sobs. I couldn't do anything meaningful. I hated myself for not being able to a damn thing that could matter to him. There was no way I could bring Gem back.

I could only manage to hold him against my chest stroking his hair while watching as part of his soul felt as if it was dying. Knowing that the boy in my arms would never be the same Jungkook I had come to know over the years. He would be damaged and nothing I could do would ever fix that.

But that wasn't why I left. Perhaps I wasn't even clear on my own reasoning, maybe they were excuses, but at the time I felt as if it was logical to protect him and selfishly my own feelings. But here he was again in my arms, his crying breaking the silence that had been just moments ago. He was ripping my heart out once again.

"H-hyung," he sobbed. "You c-came back. I've m-m-missed you so m-much." His words melted through to me as I finally wrapped my arms around him and pulled him closer against me.

"I missed you, too, Ggukie," I whispered into his ear. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He seemed to cry even harder now and I did my best to shush him. "It's okay, Gguk. I'm here now. Please don't cry. I'm sorry."

The sun had nearly set now peeking through the clouds quickly rolling in on the horizon by the time he had stopped crying. The temperature seemed to have changed quickly as a slight chill brushed over my skin. Thunder rolled in the distance signaling the oncoming storm.

"Hey, Jungkook-ah. It's going to storm so we should go."

"No!" He screamed pulling back from me with worry. "I just found you! You can't leave me again!" Jungkook grabbed my arms tightly nearly collapsing and knocking me to the ground. "Please, hyung!"

He face was twisted with despair as he began panting heavily. His words being choked as he gasped for breath. I've seen this before in him. His anxiety and panic attacks flaring up. I was never able to help him when he found himself in those situations. It was always Gem.

But Gem wasn't here. He was...there, below us. I knew if he was here watching he'd be pleading with me to help Jungkook. Against my willingness to stay away, I couldn't leave him like this.

"Jungkook-ah, hey. Don't worry. I'm not leaving. I just suggested we should leave before the storm hits. Okay?"

He looked at me with trembling lips and bloodshot eyes, chest heaving as he gasped for breath. "Hyung, please don't leave. Don't leave me alone again."

If I hated myself before I hated myself even more now. Watching the man in front of me falling apart because of my own actions. Struggling with pain, grief, and his own mind because of me. I was too damned selfish protecting myself and leaving behind the only thing I had in my life aside from Gem. Why wasn't I there for him? Why did I turn my back on him?

The guilt that had been eating away at me for the past two years was bubbling up from my stomach like a sour bile. "I'm sorry," I managed to say barely above a whisper as I held onto him. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

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Authors note:

Is it pathetic that my own story has made me cry? Only two chapters and it's already this emotional.

This time around the chapters will be shorter than my usual stories, because I've realized that when I write chapters that are 3k plus words every time it takes me longer to update and I tend to get stuck. So let's see how changing will do. So far I don't feel as pressured and the story is coming to me easily.

I've included the BTS Wings Short Film #1 Begin. Watch this and imagine this as JK's mind over the past few years in dealing with Yoongi's disappearance. I'll delve deeper into the aspect of his mental illness as the story goes on, but this is just a reference to it.