Arcade/DNF/

-CONFUSED-

-Chapter one-
-confused-

waking up the blaring alarm in my ear, I shrugged my blanket to the side and grabbed my phone that was hidden underneath it. *2 unread messages* was one of the only notifications present.
Heart light fluttering like a butterfly's wings,
I opened the chat with Dream.
"Hey, streaming at 2pm my time, You should come join."
"Nevermind, had some things come up."

My eyebrows furrow at the second text and the worry begins to set in my body like poison.
"Okay.. if you need anything i'm here." was all i could type.
Throwing the phone down, I notice the wet spots under my arms from a good day's rest.
"gross" I whisper to myself. Grabbing a near towel, I lazily make my way to my shower. 

Turning the knob to hot, I wait for a moment for the water to get warmer before stepping in.
The bodywash lathers my skin with thick soap and bubbles washing away the filth from a few days of not showering.
It was calming.
Something I hadn't felt recently.

It was the middle of october which is usually when undeniable seasonal depression came full force.
It's always a difficult time, especially with streaming, disappointing the fans was the last thing I needed.. Or just worrying them in general for not going live when i feel like this.

No one in the group knows about this issue other than dream and sapnap.
They really do try their best to help me. But I end up pushing them away more. Opening up is terrifying to me.

The words keep tracing my mind, leaving little footprints that will never leave, and will continue to be thought about for god knows how long.

Finally snapping out of it, I quickly wash my hair and get out.

The cold air brushes my body, making me shiver. Throwing a towel over myself i coldy make my way back to my room and get dressed.

The voices began to grow louder the more I was alone in my room.
The silence was unbearable.

A common haunting thought begins flipping through my mind. It nearly makes my heart skip a beat.
"What if Dream was something more.."
I shake my head and shutter my eyes trying to forget the intrusive thought.

But nothing worked.

Getting frustrated with the novel of thoughts, I promptly stand up, basically speed walking to the bathroom.

-
Slamming my hands down on the counter, I swiftly turn the faucet on and begin splashing cold water in my face.
"Fuck" was all that could leave my lips as i look at a lesser version of myself.
Splashing more and more water, and getting my clean shirt soaked in the process, I finally turn the faucet off.

"He's my best friend. Nothing more." I deny every word by brain was trying to scream at me.
But the thoughts still appeared.
"I just want to feel dreams warmth on my ice cold skin, and feel a sense of comfort. Just once."
Swinging my fist forward at the wall, I hit the hard drywall with all my strength.

-
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Time skip
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Sitting in my small, apartment living room I watch any random movie that was playing to pass time while I eat my dinner.
Focused in on my simple mac and cheese, a bright light from next to me catches my attention.
Pulling my phone up, I read the discord text.

"Do you want to play? I need to talk to you about something."

My heart sinks like a wrecked ship in the ocean.
Why am I getting so nervous over things like this-? I question myself.
"It's just the season.. It's not real." I talk aloud to myself.

"I'll be on at 5, everything okay?" clicking send deepens the pit in my stomach.
Chat bubbles immediately come up.

Minutes pass, but they feel like hours.
What if Dream knew George was thinking all of these things.