➊ ❝𝘿𝙮𝙨𝙥𝙝𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙖❞✧ ೃ༄

epilogue.

...

𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐈 𝐬𝐚𝐰

𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤.

...

Darkness.

Its all that I saw.

No subtle light that you see when you close your eyes in a bright area.

No glint of sunlight shining from the clouds above.

Just...nothing.

The body my soul has been tethered to for my entire existence was just a mere thought. A memory. A passing feeling. One moment it was there, now I was just a consciousness suspended in the abyss.

Everything is foggy,

but I do remember one thing.

The feeling of suspension as my life in its final moments slowed to a halt,

like someone hitting pause on a movie,

or stopping a song midway while listening to it.

Except this wasn't a pleasant movie watching experience.

And this wasn't a joyful song.

Rather, a horror film, except you're right in the movie in the middle between the monster, and death,

with a twisted and wretched melody screaming in your ears,

as the weight of my action and gravity slowly pulled me down, down, down.

I wasn't in a utopia.

More like a purgatory where the weight of my sins haunt me as I struggle to see in this new abyss.

I couldn't cry, scream, or anything.

Just experienced my life like its projected on a movie screen, something I'll have to watch forever till I atone for my actions.

Of the people I hurt.

When I hurt myself.

Abyss.

Oblivion.

Darkness.

And yet...

As I look through my memories,

One person stands out.

Like something full of vibrant and saturated colors against a monotone, grey background, he stood out.

The times we kissed.

The times we held hands.

The times where it seemed that there was no one else in the world, just the two of us, intertwined by fate, love, and light.

As much as he hurt me, and made me cry,

I just can't help but feel, some bastion of warmth when I saw him,

A splash of red, black, & blue against a monotone background,

A ray of sun in a vast valley of darkness.

As much as he left me with nothing,

He left me with something.

Hope.

Hope was what made me tread forward throughout the eternal darkness,

In hopes that maybe, in another lifetime, in another world, in another universe,

I might see him again.

Maybe, I'll be able to feel the touch of his hand, the warmth of his body pressed against my own, the taste of his lips.

Maybe I'm not a horrible person. Maybe I do deserve redemption, a chance to make things right again,

Whether its in another lifetime, in another world, in another universe,

Maybe I will.

Maybe I won't.

Maybe its a false hope,

Or an eternal darkness,

But I guess thats the thing, isn't it?

The world is confusing, rules never make sense,

But a flower is never beautiful because we forced it to grow.

A natural river is never breathtaking because we chose the route it would take.

A gorgeous person is never gorgeous because we molded them to look like that like they were clay.

It doesn't matter.

I'll keep going.

Whether theres a light at the end, or no light at all, I'll keep going.

And maybe, just maybe, I'll see him again.