Jane

Why

March 06 2015
Mark, his smile is what I believed is helping me continuing my journey in this world.

March 29 2015
He asked the question I've been dying to answer. "Yes". I think I found my missing piece?

April 25 2015
I do not know if I should feel unsafe or not. Maybe it is just a phase. Please lord let me just have him, just this once. I have met his mother, some gut feeling is telling me to turn around and walk away.

May 06 2015
What is abuse? Mom always talks about the abuse before I was born. Can abuse be verbally and emotionally? I don't know what to do anymore, I just saw Mark violently attacked my friends. Is it my punishment to just step away from him? Mark told me that I should be a good girlfriend. I made him mad by separating myself from him. His mother caught on, and she burst into anger towards me. Is it my fault he is like this? Have I done anything wrong? Is there something wrong with myself? Do I really destroy those around me and cause them such bad luck? Mark's anger, is he taking it on me?

June 30 2015
He ruined everything. He was angry when I did not spend the whole grad night with him, just because I wanted to hang out with some friends? I am starting to believe that all of this is what my mom has been talking about. Now I have angered his whole family. I can't break away from him, from the fears and terror he has brought upon me. I fell nothing more but a great deal of depression. I feel trapped in this relationship.

July 01 2015
I must go away for awhile, he at least apologized. Is it normal that he keeps doing this to me? His anger left nothing but anxiety and pain I have to deal with every night. When will this be over? I have noticed when he gets angry, he clenches my hand and leaves a stain of pain.

July 06 2015
As I told my parents the truth, they warned me about the signs. I went away for awhile, away from him. Far away, where he cannot find me.

July 25 2015
I found it. I've finally found my worth. I need to get out of this relationship. Before something terrible happens.

August 14 2015
     I am ending this.

August 31 2015
As I went to his house to drop off the jewelry he given to me, he came and approached me. He was angry and upset, this time he did not use words and emotions. This time, he went too far. Why? Why him?

September 04 2015
     The voices inside, it won't shut up. Who are they to tell me what to do? What is going on? I can't seem to get the voices out of my head. Why am I scared of everything? He did it, the damage has come.