Defying Equilibrium: Book II

Chapter 4: Lying

Louise couldn't breathe. Her lungs seemed to have constricted and her chest felt so tight. And it was because of his eyes, the Swordsman's eyes, staring directly into hers. She thought he was dead. He looked dead. Why wasn't he dead?

“I never imagined hell would look like this.”

She staggered back, her wide amber eyes meeting his mud brown ones. As soon as she began to regain her senses, one thought came to mind. All of her Shielder training told her what to do, and she stared down at the shield in her hands, knowing that she should kill him. He was an enemy. She should kill him. Shouldn't she?

He tilted his head and regarded her with nothing but curiosity. Did he really think that he was dead? Louise couldn't tell whether he was serious or not.

“Who are you? Are you some demon here to guide me through hell? If so, you're awfully pretty for a demon. More like an angel.”

He had completely accepted that this was death, and maybe he wasn't all that crazy to think so. After all, if this was the real world, wouldn't the Shielder have killed him by now? That would make more sense. A normal Shielder wouldn't be staring at him like she was terrified of his gaze alone.

“Or are you dead too?”

Louise managed to stutter out a response. “No, I'm not dead.”

“Is that right?” he replied with a cough, a little amused. A little blood spilled out when he coughed, probably from some internal injuries. “Then am I alive after all?”

Louise, dumbstruck, nodded.

“Why am I alive then, may I ask? You're a Shielder. I should be dead.”

To this, Louise had no answer. She didn't know herself. Why hadn't she killed him yet? Why couldn't she move? Why couldn't she even bring herself to lift her shield?

“You've never killed anyone, have you?” he asked, his expression softening slightly. Was this sympathy? Pity? From her enemy? He was the one dying, why would he pity her? She raised her shield half-heartedly, as if trying to convince herself that she would kill him.

But then she realised something. She realised that she couldn't kill him. She knew that she should, she knew that he had killed her commander, she knew that it was her orders to do so. But with just as much surety, she knew that she couldn't. She wasn't built to kill. She lowered her shield, and fell to her knees. By now, the blood on the ground had stained almost all of her clothing and her hands, but she had stopped noticing.

Before she realised what she was doing, she stood up and turned her back to the Swordsman. Her mind was made up. He was staring at her, to shocked to speak. Why wasn't she finishing him off? Did she think that it would be crueller to just let him bleed out? That could take days. What was running through her mind?

“You're still my enemy,” she said simply, with her back still to him. “But I won't kill you.”

His lips curved into a wry smile. “Is that so? I thought that enemies are meant to kill each other, but maybe that's just me.”

A small smile came to Louise's face too, before she had a chance to suppress it. “I guess that's just you. You're lucky I'm not the violent type.”

“I've always been pretty lucky.”

“Me too.”

They both heard a loud, shrill whistle. It was her squadron, calling her back. She had to go now, or they'd assume her dead and leave without her. She turned back to the Swordsman for a split second and caught his eye, he was still staring at her. And then she turned to run.