Millicent

Chapter 7

I was up late, sitting on the window seat, staring out towards the forest. I didn't want to sleep in fear of another nightmare, so I pushed myself to stay up. I had a pile of books on my shelf waiting to be read and normally, I'd have them all finished in no time, but tonight I wasn't up for it.

I couldn't find comfort in my solitude which was unusual for me. I longed for something, but I didn't know what. I often found myself thinking back to Sterling's nieces and nephews which shocked me. I don't even like kids. I leaned my head against the cool window, watching as the rising moon lit up the night, the light shining on the mountains that were nearby. It was all so beautiful, I chose a good room, that's for sure.

I thought about my home and the gym, wanting to go back to help clear my head more, but the time isn't right, not yet. The thought of leaving pulled at my chest, but it must happen eventually. I can't let being here change my views, it's all too fast, too soon.

It's because of Sterling, I know it.

He is all I can think about anymore and I know he thinks of me too, I can't let him have me though, I won't allow it. There is a whole world out there waiting for me, waiting for me to explore, to travel, to find. . . something. I can't give up all for the notion of a predetermined future that wasn't my choice. There was a soft knock and before I could answer, Sterling popped his head inside, seeming to be a little surprised at where I was.

"I-I thought you'd be asleep." He stuttered, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink.

"And you were going to what, watch me?" I teased, the color in his face deepening.

"I. . . yeah." He admitted, coming inside, leaving the door open.

He pulled my reading chair over, looking at the destroyed wall with a grimace before turning his attention back to me.

"Sorry about destroying your house, I'll pay to get it fixed," I tell him, looking back outside.

"Don't worry about it, I have people coming in the morning to do that." He said, making me sigh. "I mean, if you're hell-bent on paying for it, fine." He went for those words instead, making my mood lighten.

"Thanks."

"I uh. . . I want to ask you some things." He started, I closed my eyes, hoping this conversation wasn't about to go where I thought it was.

"Sterling-"

"I won't push, I promise. Only answer what you're comfortable with, how about that?" He asked, leaning closer to me.

I want to say that his close proximity was making me nervous, but it didn't. His closeness, it eased me and I let it, for now.

I sighed, nodding for him to continue.

"Do you have a family?" He asked, I gave him a funny look.

"Of course I do. . . or did. My parents died." I tell him, waiting for his reaction. His eyes were sad for a moment, I found I didn't like that look on him. "It's alright. When I was freed, I went to find them, hoping to rebuild what was broken, but it was too late, I guess."

"I'm sorry." He told me.

"For what? It's not your fault." I say, but he only grinned.

"I know, I mean, I'm sorry they died. I can't imagine what it would be like to lose parents'. It must have been hard." He says.

"It was a long shot anyway. I had a feeling they weren't alive, but it was the possibility of it, you know?"

I remember that day, trying to find them, only to learn they were gone, but it is what it is. Nothing I can do about it now, though it does still bother me that they were killed.