its ok to cry sometimes...

ugh...

So ig this book is made just because I was deppresso and felt so small... And I really don't know how to be happy all the time... And I hate it. Happiness comes n goes and sometimes it can be days before I actually feel happy!
I try to make others feel better just because they don't deserve to feel as bad as I do... I feel like running from all my problems cuz I'm too weak to them up(cause I'm a them/they) and I hate that about myself. People that don't know me can call me beautiful all they want but their words don't mean shit to me!!!
I can be "werid" "emo" "goth" idgaf. I don't like getting bullied! I don't like deppression I didn't choose to be scitso!!! I can't even made my own choices without feeling overwhelmed. And the nighttime is even worse I got no one... But the voices in my head so I listen to my music 24/7. And he feeling of no being good enough oh goddamn... I try my best to keep my grades up! I try my best to help everyone around me! But what to I get??!! Nothing!!! I just want a I'm thank you!?! Instead of the people I love hurting themselves!!! I want an I love u instead of them coming to me with all their problems!! I've got problems to!!?! And u never help me it's always an "I'm sorry" "it will get better" "oop" "welp" "not my problem" and LIKE WTF?!??  The strong need people to?!!? If u read this thanks... Ig I'm thankful but I'm getting tired of it tbh. And I'm not the person my bf thanks I am. I smoked weed, drank,and cigs, I'm not a good person. I might have stopped vaping but hey?!
Fuck it right??!

But on the inside I'm getting better for his sake! And my bsf and my old and new friend on here. I've known him from 7th grade but we never talked that much tbh I was shy and didn't wanna hurt them... Soo now I've started to talk to him(pronouns I hope I did urs right)  and I told the rest of my family my pronouns and they yelled n stuff and told me how much of a pan lover I am and how I'm not non-binary. So that's it for this one bye bye!!!