We'll be back - Hamilton Oneshots

Mullette: Whats A Few More? 🌧

(Self Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Abusive Past from a Relationship, Death)

Loving and fighting, accusing, denying.

Hercules sat outside of the bathroom door, holding back painful tears. He covered his mouth in order to muffle his heart-wrenching sobs, leaning his head back against the door. He couldn't take it anymore.

His boyfriend Lafayette was currently in the bedroom, watching a show with high volume. Hercules muffled several broken cries into his sleeve, choking on the lump that was painfully burning in his throat.

I can't Imagine a world with you gone.

Hercules and Lafayette. Soulmates. Lafayette had bumped into Hercules during college, accidentally knocking all of the books out of the darker man's arms. Lafayette quickly apologized and offered to help, but Hercules declined. Lafayette insisted and began helping him, knocking his own books that he held in one arm out of his hand in the process. Lafayette made some type of joke about how they're both late for class and Hercules laughed. That's where it all began.

Then they were friends. Then they began dating. Every day they went to one of their dorms and watched a show, or went somewhere like a coffee shop or the park. Soon enough, they both fell in love with each other and they both confessed. Thankfully, they felt the same.

The joy..

Lafayette would often run about town, holding Hercules on his back. They would laugh and talk, joke about things unrelated to the world around them.

and the chaos, the demons we're made of..

Hercules only dated one person before Lafayette. Francis Kinloch. He battered and abused Hercules for all he was worth, and according to Francis, that was nothing. He was used for sex, constantly, in every way. None of his touches were filled with love like the way Lafayette's were. None of the things he told Hercules were assuring, they were all terrible. Slut, Whore, Cockwarmer, Slave, Toy. Francis forced Hercules to wear things he didn't want to, bend in positions his body thought not possible, scream things he would never say out loud or even in his own mind.

Hercules had enough once Francis began dating women behind his back. He didn't want Hercules anymore. He wasn't good enough, he never would be. So cut by cut, razor blade by razor blade, Hercules ruined his flawless skin. Ruined the little bit of happiness he had about himself. Ruined his life. And it all started with the first cut.

But it didn't stop there. Soon his wrists were covered in scars, fresh slices and regret. His thighs were littered with past scars. He couldn't stop. Hercules always had this thought in his mind that Lafayette was only using him. He wouldn't do that. But would he?

I'd be so lost if you left me alone.

Lafayette needed Hercules. He needed him to stay by his side. Cuddle him when he was upset, about work or personal issues with his family. He wanted to be loved as much as the world would let him. Hercules provided all of that for him. He provided Lafayette with littering kisses all over his cheeks, a warm body to cuddle against when the winter nights would crash through their window.

He needed Hercules to stay alive. Because if Hercules wasn't on this Earth, there was nothing left on it that would keep himself on it.

Lafayette knows about how Hercules used to cut, and he's known that there's a few fresh ones from the especially hard days at work. He tries so hard to convince him that life isn't all that bad, because they have each other. Hercules agrees, but there's something the Irish man is hiding that Lafayette can't figure out.

You locked yourself in the bathroom..

Hercules finally removed himself from the carpeted ground, opening the bathroom door and scrambling inside as quietly as he could. Heavy tears streamed down his face as he locked the door. He walked over to the sink and opened the medicine cabinet, feeling around the top of it and grabbing a blade that he had hidden. Hercules kept his mouth covered as he sat down on the bathroom floor, holding the blade in his clenched fist. He took a few deep breaths and angled the blade where a small thin line of skin was clean and he could cut open.

"You're already so broken.. Your body is littered with lines from your pain. What's a few more?" Hercules reassured himself, digging the corner of the razor blade into his skin before sliding it down his wrist. His thick, red blood seeped out of his new wound, down onto the tile below him.

Slice after slice, sob after sob, Hercules began to grow lightheaded. He hadn't focused on how much blood he was losing as he went through all the past memories in his head.

Francis would pummel him so hard that he would start bleeding from the penetration. Claw at his hips so ruthlessly that painful bruises would rest upon them for several weeks. He wasn't able to walk almost any day. People questioned him everyday, and it was always the same answer. "I was injured in my thigh a couple years ago and it's having a bad day, tomorrow will be good though." Hercules lied, it always hurt the more he lied about what was going on. He never told anyone about it until he met Lafayette. Francis had dropped him by then, and Lafayette was there to comfort him through it all. Lafayette.

Lafayette..

Hercules closed his eyes for a mid two seconds before his body slumped to the side, slamming his head on the side of the bathtub and onto the bloody floor.

Lying on the floor when I break through..

Lafayette, having been told by Hercules that he would be right back, was starting to grow worried once his boyfriend had been gone for thirty minutes. He sighed, pausing his show and standing up. "Sweetheart?" The french man called out in a cheery tone, to where there was no answer. Lafayette tilted his head and walked out of the bedroom, down the steps where Hercules said he would be. "Baby?" No answer again. Lafayette searched the house, stopping at the bathroom door and politely knocking.

"Sweetheart, are you in there?" Lafayette asked softly, leaning against the door to listen. No sound. He grabbed the doorknob and tried to turn it, but it was locked. Lafayette pushed on the door lightly, seeing if the door was just stuck. When there was no avail, Lafayette began pounding his fist against the door. "Hercules! Hercules, open the door please!"

Silence.

Lafayette sighed deeply, backing up and running towards the door. Just as he was about to hit it, he turned his body to the side and slammed his shoulder against it, breaking the door completely off its hinges. Lafayette grabbed the door and threw it out of the way, revealing the bloody horror scene on the bathroom floor. Hercules lay on the ground unconscious, losing blood fast out of his wrists, dark red liquid pooling around his arms.

I pull you in to feel your heartbeat.

Lafayette leapt down, immediately bursting into tears as he ripped off a long strip of toilet paper. He swung it around Hercules's bleeding wrists repeatedly until the roll was bandaged around both of his arms, successfully stopping the blood.

Lafayette picked up Hercules and held the limp man close to his body, whispering soft praises into his ears that no longer listened to Lafayette's soothing voice. "Baby, come back. Let me hear your voice. I promise you, I'll protect you with all of my life. I love you so much, please come back, please stop bleeding.."

The Frenchman pulled his head down to Hercules's chest, placing his ear on the part of his chest his heart was under. A faint heartbeat thumped methodically. Lafayette gasped, placing his lips on his boyfriends and blowing several puffs of air into his mouth. He spoke soft, soothing phrases between heavy panting and giving breaths.

Can you hear me screaming, "Please don't leave me.."

"Please, Hercules! I need you alive so that I can stay alive! With you, on this Earth, I have something to live for. If you leave this Earth, my life will be over. Please come back to me, Hercules. Please.." Lafayette sobbed into his boyfriend's neck, clinging to his back and repeatedly trying to pull the limp body closer.

Then, the thumping in his chest died down into silence.

Hold on, I still want you..

Lafayette screamed in agony, holding the body of his boyfriend in his arms. The tears streaming down his face were cold. The bathroom tile was cold. Hercules's body. It was cold. Getting colder by the moment. His blood had stopped pumping completely.

Come back, I still need you.

He was gone.

{Word Count: 1,466}