We'll be back - Hamilton Oneshots

Lams: Love The Sin And The Sinner 🔥

{Notes From the Author}

So, due to all of the trauma and shit I've had relating to Christianity/The Christian community, I want to make fun of all that shit- So, if you are Christian/Believe in God, please skip this, because I will warn you I will be making a lot of bad comments. The oneshot is based in a conversion camp, which is where parents send gay children to "turn them straight" And I just think that's a whole load of bullshit, so I'm gonna say fuck you to the toxic christians. Any christian who DOES accept the LGBTQ+ Community, Black people, and other religions, thank you. None of the jokes made in this oneshot will be directed toward the good christians, just the homophobic disgusting ones.

On a separate note, the actual conversion camps are nothing like actual camps, however I refuse to write shit that reminds me of the holocaust. Therefore, this conversion camp will be MUCH less violent than actual ones, and will be something like a summer camp.

"I don't care what you think you are! You are not gay!" A woman yelled, pointing an angry finger to the ground in the middle of the door to Alexander's room and the floor to the hallway. "Mom, this isn't a choice! I never said 'Yeah mom, so like I decided to just become gay, sorry to disappoint you.' Okay? I'm gay, mom! I can't stop myself from being gay!" Alexander yelled back, glaring straight through his mother as she frowned and shook her head.

"If you won't change your actions, maybe God can help you." She snapped, storming out of the room.

Next thing Alex knew, he was on the bus to the nearest conversion camp.

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"And as they say in Leviticus 20:13; 'If a man practices homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman, both men have committed a detestable act. They must both be put to death, for they are guilty of a capital offense.' Thus spoken, for the next two months, you all will be learning these quotes, remembering them in your head, and knowing what is right and wrong. Now, does anybody have any questions, comments, or concerns?" The camp counselor, with reddish brown hair and eyes to match asked. Nobody answered, except for Alexander, who stood up in the grass around all the other kids sitting in it.

"Actually, I do." He grinned, pushing the man out of the way and leaping on top of the table he was sitting on. Alex fixed his hair, clearing his throat as if he were some big shot entrepreneur introducing his idea to a large paying company. "First, let's start off. How many of you actually wanted to come here? Wanted to get your sexuality forced out of you like it was some disease or evil possession?"

Nobody raised their hand. Alexander smirked. "Exactly. So let me ask you this; have you ever sinned, thought about sinning or loved a sinner?" Not a single person kept their hand down, dozens upon dozens of hands raised, some a bit exaggerated with waving arms and exuberant giggles. Alexander nodded with a proud smile, turning to the left and walking to the edge of the table. He turned again, walking to the other side, repeating this.

"As you all know, Jesus died for our sins, correct?" He asked, pacing back and forth on the table, listening to the creak of the wood each and every step he took. The kids all looked utterly confused, but nodded. It was simple logic.

"Correctamundo!" Alex raised a hand up, sticking a finger up towards the sky. "That man's son up there died for our sins. So.. what are you dying for if you don't sin?" He asked, raising an eyebrow suggestively. Some kids still looked a bit off, but most of their faces lit up in understanding.

"To rephrase!" He yelled, making a few kids close to him jump. "Jesus died for our sins. So if we don't sin, our lives mean nothing, and Jesus died for nothing!" Alexander concluded with a yell, a stomp onto the wood and a fist thrown in the air for victory. The children cheered while camp counselors attempted to remove Alexander from the table. One man grabbed at the pant leg of his jeans, and he kicked them straight in the face— straight enough to turn that twisted head around and turn him gay. The counselor fell to the ground, holding his bleeding nose as Alex bolted into the woods behind them. A few other camp leaders chased after him, but with the length of Alexander's legs and the power of knowing he was who he was, propelled him forward fast enough to kick off of a tree and land in a high branch, kicking and shoving his way up to an unreachable branch.