❝BABY HOTLINE! PLEASE HOLD ME CLOSE TO YOU.❞
[doppio x m!reader x diavolo] a pink-haired man with DID brings a small frog to the local vet.
━CROSS-POSTED ON QUOTEV AND AO3
━ALTERNATE UNIVERSE, HAPPY AU
━COVER ART: @daisukerichard [twitter]
❝YOU SAID 6 TIMES 5 EQUALS 30! SO HOW THE HELL IS THE ANSWER LESS THAN 30!?❞
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COME ONE, COME ALL—TO THE MINI INTERLUDE OF BABY HOTLINE. What are these interludes, you might ask? Well, uh, hell if I know. I just wing these chapters and hope people enjoy them. Just like my interludes for Bizarre Town, I want these shorts to be a cute interjection for the some-what coherent plot of this one-shot! As strange as it is, we've made it half-way through this story.
Without further adieu, I sincerely hope you enjoy these shorts!
—
[NAME]: I think my boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. What should I do?
ABBACCHIO: Punch him in the stomach. Then, when he doubles over in pain, kiss him. Consider it payback for him punching me in the stomach that one time.
NARANCIA: Tackle him!
BRUNO: Dump him.
FUGO: Kick him in the shin.
DIAVOLO: NO TO ALL OF THOSE. JUST ASK ME TO LEAN DOWN.
—
DIAVOLO: I'm not doing too well.
DIAVOLO: I have this headache that comes and goes.
GIORNO THE VOLUNTEER VETERINARIAN, COMING INTO SAFE HAVEN:
DIAVOLO: Oh—look. There it is again.
—
DOPPIO, INSIDE THE VET CLINIC: Do you think onion rings are just vegetable doughnuts?
[NAME], USED TO DOPPIO'S QUESTIONS: Mhm—sure they are.
DOPPIO: Your stomach probably thinks all potatoes are mashed, too!
[NAME]: I see, I see.
DOPPIO: Wouldn't lasagna just be spaghetti-flavored cake, then?!
[NAME]:
DOPPIO, OBLIVIOUS: Lobsters are mermaids to scorpions too...
[NAME], ON THE VERGE OF TEARS: Doppio?
GIORNO, FASCINATED: No, continue, please.
—
Creatures of all shapes and sizes roamed in the wild—and in other cases—lived among humans. For the most part, most do not speak languages like Italian or English. Instead, these creatures utter their name, which eventually gets most people to remember them. They are raised and commanded by their owners—their trainers. During a trainer's adventure, these creatures grow and develop, perhaps even evolve into stronger beings.
