my personal definition of perfection

Where it sort of started or sum..

(At first I won't know where to start bc it's kinda hard to express myself but it'll, hopefully, will get better and „emotional ")

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Pigeon was always the funny and supportive kind of person to me. Before we really introduced ourselves to each other, I was pretty impressed and quite intimidated by them. They just seemed like a really good person to me (and I was right), they are so out of my league and I was really scared to be judged by them. The first time I really noticed them is when they were standing in the train with they're headphones on and an attack on titan backpack. I was so happy because I was a really big fan of that anime at the time.

Since that day I noticed they're presence way more often. Now I do not have a crush on them but they just are really important to me, so please don't say stupid stuff like " oMg yOu HaVe A rEaLlY bIg cRuSh oN tHeM!", simply because I don't.

Anyways XD

Sometimes I really wanted to say hi but I was just way to shy to do it and like I said: they are out of my league XD

Imagine me being on level 1 and they are vibing on level 100292872727. That's what it felt like.
It seems so dramatic but that's the way I feel/felt and no one can help it XD
At some point I gave up on thinking about being friends with them. The day we had a proper conversation was because we had both the same "friends". I mean I was friends with them at some point and I was dating a guy who was part of the group so I started to hang out with them more. So I'm not gonna give you too many details but let me tell you that I had my load of drama and pigeon had theirs and since we never really talked, nobody knew what was going on and I couldn't help them, which is something I feel bad for lol.

I wish that I would've met them sooner but I guess that everything has it's own time and it's better not to regret and just be satisfied with the outcome.

(TW: mention of s#ic#de, so if you don't feel comfortable with this then scroll down until the dinosaurs =🦖 )

One night ( a few months later or sh#t) I had enough of everything and was about to take the magic elevator to heaven or hell idk. So I texted the most popular friend (since she was quite the popular friend she knew my other friends too and could've told them because if I would've told every person I know my phone would have gotten spammed and all, ykwim?) and so I told her  to inform my other friends that I'm sorry and that I loved them. She off didn't react well and told pigeon, who called me. I was caught off guard kinda because even tho she warned me I wasn't really expecting them to really call me. And so we talked and they comforted me. They shared a bad part of their life as well, I think it was for me to understand that I'm not alone and that I could trust them idrk.

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But so we talked a lot, we laughed sometimes to brighten up the conversation, I cried a lot gahaha and they pounded some sense into my head. when the call ended I was really grateful that they decided to waste their time for a stupid bitch like me XD.

I am very grateful for what they taught me and for what they helped me through and I hope I could help them a little too. which I doubt but never stop dreaming kids XD!

( so this part was short because that's kinda how we met but I will continue to write from time to time! Thank you for reading and have a great day or evening!)

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