my personal definition of perfection

What they mean to me

Lol ok here we go

Sometimes I hope that they'll never see it but then again I want them to know how much they ducking mean to me.

They are literally the ducking reason why I am still breathing, no joke.
Of course I'm also staying for my mom, but that's because she is hypersensitive and would not take it if I died. If she wasn't, I'd be talking to kurt cobain.
And they (pigeon) are like my good reason to stay. You may ask: what about your other friends? Family and your goals?
It seems heartless but I don't really care because I know they can go on without me. Someday we'll all go different ways and we'll lose each other anyway. I don't have a strong bond to my family and like my friends, I know they can go on without me.
And I don't know if we can call the rest goals because in the end I don't care about them. Kind of. I wanna be an artist if I have to stay, so that being an adult can be a little more bearable by doing things I enjoy.

So except for pigeon I don't really have my reasons to stay.

It's stupid because we never hung out much, we built our friendship over text. But it's somehow stronger (?) than any other bond I have ever made XD

I don't even know why? because they helped me, we have similar interest so we include each other in future plans, it's so ducking easy to talk to them and just them in general XD

That's why I'm really afraid to disappoint, -disgust, -annoy or be the reason of their problems.

But that's not their fault.

I know though that if one day they die, I would never be able to get over it. Just imagining it makes me wanna cry and use a bus as a blanket. I don't know but they are so damn important to me. I mean I have a lot of people where I could never bare to see them die but if pigeon dies, I'm not even thinking twice I'll die with them. If they'd read all of this they probably would be cringed out lol XD.

Maybe they don't feel about me, the way I feel about them(as friends, please don't get the wrong Idea), I'm 100000% sure they don't. Which I don't mind because I'm not waiting for anything in return. They deserve the world, the moon, the sun, literally the whole galaxy ! And I'm like a little dot yk?

Fjufukfiufiugfiuyf they are so amazing.. ;v ;

I just want them to be happy yk, like truly and forever happy. I wish for them to get a better life throughout the years and live the life they always wanted.

They alone make living so much more bearable, it's impossible to describe XD
They'd say I'm overdoing it but I'm not!

I love them so much XD (platonically don't bully me)