desire; draco malfoy

nothing

the splitting headache in my skull stirred me to life as i woke up to the green light filled in my dorm. the emerald gleam from the black lake shimmering down into my room leaving a soft glow. i looked around my surroundings and smiled before my vision started to blur and i squeezed my eyes shut, hoping to regain focus.

"holy crap." i grumbled before swinging my feet to the side of my bed and hopping out. the heels of my feet hitting the stone cold floor before my knees giving up on me. slamming down onto my bed i winced in pain.

all i felt was pain. everywhere.

my muscles ached all around me, my throbbing head pounding into me like drums. my eyes strained and and my throat hoarse.

i slowly recollected myself and carefully made my way out of bed. limping to the bathroom i opened the cabinet and took out an advil.

hopefully this might help.

as i filled my cup with water and swallowed the pill while looking at myself in the mirror. i looked like hell. makeup was smeared all over my face and it looked like i hadn't slept in days. grabbing a makeup wipe from the cabinet, i wiped it all across my face, scrubbing until it was nice and clear. i still looked like shit but at least i won't get acne now. what the fuck happened.

while staring at my reflection lost in my thoughts, i saw something out of the corner of my eye.

more like someone.

i threw my thoughts to the side before turning around to face the blonde haired boy in the door frame of my room.

he didn't notice my gaze as he played with his rings, not even bothering to look up.

"draco," i whispered, "what are you doing here."

no response.

"draco?" i asked him again. this made his face slowly look up at me.

his face.

he looked enraged, he looked disgusted.

most of all, he looked hurt.

the expression across his face was almost as if he had been stabbed with a thousand blades.

yet at the same time, he was ready to do the same.

"why?" he asked emotionless while looking into my eyes. his eyes searching, begging for an answer.

i looked back at him with a blank face. what was he talking about...

i tilted my head slightly.

"what do you mean?" i softly asked.

his expression immediately changed to nothing. it was blank. cold. empty.

"nothing." he responded almost a whisper before he looked at me one last time and left.

what the fuck-

the thoughts spinning through my head crashing with my pounding headache making me wobble to my bed and collapse.

my heavy breaths echoing through the silent room, the faint sound of the black lake filling the room as i focused on the soft ripples of water, the silence of the common room filling me with a feeling of comfort.

peace.

a soft groan of frustration left my lips into my pillow as i suffocated myself in the silky material, hoping not to wake up astoria.

i gripped the cup tight in my hand and exited the bathroom while limping over to my full body mirror to examine myself more closely. what happened last night? i examined my body from head to toe, i was practically drowning in my jumper and sweatpants.

holy shit.

these are not my clothes.

my eyes grew wide as i looked at myself closer in the mirror and saw...

oh no.

oh god no.

what have i done.

the new purplish hickeys surrounded my neck, the splotches almost the size of clementines.

they surrounded my neck as i examined them closely.

who are these from?

oh my god.

i must've had sex with the person these clothes belong to.

the clothes didn't belong to draco...

what did i do.

what does draco think of me know?

he knows.

he fucking knows.

but how does he know? but at the same time, hogwarts knows everything about everyone. but at the same time, why does he care?

does he care?

he was hurt when we talked...

i didn't even fucking realize i had hurt him until i looked in the mirror.

i'm such a dumbass.

he probably hates me now.

fuck why do i even care what he thinks? what he thinks shouldn't concern me.

yet i care about what he thinks of me...

it doesn't make any sense. we do not like each other. purely just fuck buddies. we are merely messing with each other. thats it. this is all just a game. besides that we hate each other.

so why do i care if he hates me.

he always has.

always will.

nothing can change that.

nothing.

a/n: guys i am so fucking sorry- i haven't updated in a month. and over this past month i've gotten 60+ thousand reads on my story.

thats literally insane. thank you guys so so much. you have no idea how much this means to me. i've been really stressed with school and i've had to complete my missing assignments which is a lot because i haven't done any of my work like- at all for the past three months. basically they told my parents and every day i've been turning in all my late shit.

i've been put under a lot of stress and i really didn't have enough motivation to write during this break. whenever i did write however, i worked on this other story that i'm thinking of publishing very soon.

its another fan fiction and i'm actually really exited to publish it because even though its a fan fic, its way different than this story. the one i'm working on is giving me so many cool ideas and i could literally do so much with it, no joke. i think it has potential to be more than decent haha.

the idea of it came to me in january but i never really started writing it until recently. i feel at though we can all agree that my writing over the course of this story has improved so the story i'm working on shows more of my skills as a writer currently.

writing this other story does not mean i will stop writing this one, in fact i will probably update this one more often then i will that one but i just wanted to let you guys know.

anyways, i have literally seen my story in multiple tiktok and literally what the fuck. thats actually insane thank you guys for supporting my story it truly means the world to me.

again, i want to thank the people who have read my story from the start, i couldn't have done this without you guys. i wouldn't be where i am today and you guys really are one of the main reasons why i'm still writing.

- prongs