::𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫::

~coping~

Skip to 3 months later... I'll fill you in on what happened I guess-

TW// su*cidal thoughts, anxiety, depression, Ed.

Dixie: i got out my phone, today marks three months since I hadn't seen my baby. I missed him so much and without him I was really struggling, my anxiety had got worse and i started to have panic attacks more and more frequently each time they just got worse. I sat on the sofa staring out my apartment, I hadn't even left in 2 months and i didn't even clean up. I barley ate anymore either just because there was so much stuff everywhere and it was overwhelming. Everywhere was a mess, including me. Obviously I couldn't tell Noah, he knew that I was struggling but not this bad. Slowly I started to sob and I felt my heart shattering under the weight of all the emotions I was experiencing, I felt like I wanted to end it ... numb all the pain.

Noah: I hadn't heard from Dixie all day and I'd been busy at soccer so I decided to text her in between games.

Hey beautiful I hope your okay I just wanted to let you know that I miss you, so much and I love you! Speak soon xx❤️❤️

I sent it. Hoping she would respond.

Dixie: all day I felt panicked and nervous I couldn't quite figure out why but I just tried to take my mind off it by taking a nap. 3 hours later I woke up and my palms were all sweaty. I looked down and my legs began to shake vigorously, I tried to get up but I fell down onto my knees and curled up in a ball. Sobbing, and gasping for air. I grabbed my neck and tried to get in some air but every time I did I just felt like I was drowning. Soon enough I began to feel dizzy.. I was about to sit down when.. all I could see was black.

Noah's pov: not again dix I said as I shoved my phone arrogantly into my pocket.

Bryce: girlfriend not text you back again huh?

Noah: shut it Bryce, I just wanna make sure she's okay ykyk.

Bryce: I get it man but give her some space, it seems like she needs it.

Noah: maybe your right Bryce, maybe she just wanted some time to herself after all. Thanks.

Bryce: anytime.

Charlis pov: I woke up to my mum banging on my bedroom door, Charli!! She shouted! Charli! Dixie is in hospital. So many thoughts started to race around me head at top speed. I grabbed a hoodie and put it on and then me then we drove to the hospital.

Noah's pov: after I'd finished up with soccer I got my phone and headed back to my dorm but then a message popped up onto my phone and I read it...

Heidi :)

Hi Noah I just wanted to update you on Dixie as I'm sure your worried, she's in hospital at the minute but she's stable but she's in a coma. We aren't sure what happened but we presume it was a panic attack and she banged her head sufficiently enough to make her black out and end up in a coma. Please try not to stress too much focus on school and I'll update you when I can however we've just come home because there's not really much for us to hang around for, hope your okay love❤️

Noah: upon hearing that news my heart sank to the bottom of my stomach and shattered . I knew I had to be there for her, she really needed it. As quick as I could I ran to my dorm room and glanced at my timetable. No lessons until Tuesday! Time for a long weekend I thought. Before I knew it I'd packed some stuff and headed out to the airport, soon enough I boarded my flight. It was 5pm when I woke from my nap and we were 30minutes away from la. I started to pack up my stuff and then headed off the plane, Heidi had text me the hospitals address so I showed my Uber and ordered them to take me there. Once I was inside the hospital I found Dixies room and saw her lying there, lifeless.

Nurse: hello, how can I help?

Noah: hi this is my girlfriend dixie, I've just flown from nyc to see her.

Nurse: what a good boyfriend ay, well incase you haven't been told she was brought in yesterday we think she had already been in a coma for a few days before she was brought here, it was her mother who found her after she grew concerned that she wasn't responding to any messages so we can assume it's been about 5 days.

Noah: I literally wanted to punch myself. 5 days!! If I was there this never would have happened and I couldn't help but shead a tear. She was clearly in a bad state. WHY WHY WHY couldn't I see that. I was such a bad boyfriend.

Nurse: I'm going to tell you something but I don't want you to get scared okay?

Noah: o- okay.

Nurse: comas can last from a couple of days to a couple of years you know. And you might, well not be seeing her for a while.

Noah: this time, tears started to fall faster and faster, the nurse walked away and drew the curtains around me and Dixie. I grabbed her hand and it was skinny and bony. I softly ran my fingers through her hair and imagined as if she was awake again. Her touch her smell I loved it all, but I couldn't believe I let her get this bad. Then it clicked. I needed to go check her apartment and figure out what was going on, once and for all.

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