Awakenings: Joanna

Best Evening

I closed the door behind Kat and leaned my back against it. Tears fell streaming down my cheeks, but I wasn't sad. The puzzle pieces kept going into the correct places, and everything began to make sense.

I touched my lips with my finger. She kissed me. With her lips. The feeling of her lips still lingering on mine, I closed my eyes. I had never before felt anything like it. How a simple kiss can feel so good. It felt like my body was on fire. My heart beat like crazy, my breathing was quick and shallow. My ears felt hot, my cheeks flushed. I didn't need to touch anything to know my panties were wet. Just from a simple kiss. I dared not think what else could happen.

I touched my lips again. It felt like they were still warm from her touch. Her lips were so soft, so warm... I'd kissed before, of course. I'd had a couple of serious boyfriends before this. But kissing them... it never felt like anything even close to this. I didn't hate it, but it never had this effect on me. I thought that it was how things were.

So I guess that's it then. I guess I'm a lesbian too. I mean, there's no other explanation for any of this. This is literally the moment where you can say that there is no heterosexual explanation for this at all. I shook my head and walked back to the living room.

I figured Kat's suggestion of taking the shower wasn't that bad. At least I needed to change my underwear, and I was probably sweating enough that it'd be a good idea regardless of anything else.

I threw my clothes on the sofa like the lazy person living alone that I am. I walked to the bathroom and stopped to look in the mirror. As I said, I didn't look half bad but compared to Kat... if, when she comes back, things end up happening and... I glanced towards my bedroom. Oh no. I figured out I'm a lesbian less than an hour ago and I'm already thinking about doing... things. I'm a pervert!

But anyway. I'm not sure I could show my naked body to her, she's so much prettier and curvy. I'm just a thin stick with boobs. Alright, I'm not that bad, but Kat has Curves. No, she isn't the thinnest woman, but her mass is in the right places. So very right places.

I cupped my breasts and looked at the mirror. I'm a large B, maybe a small C, depending on how you count. She must be a D at least, if not slightly bigger. They don't look disproportional on her, just big. And yes, here I am, fresh out of the closet, gay and already thinking about another woman's breasts. I'm the worst. I'm a horny pervert. I hide my face in my hands and sigh.

I turn the water on, I'll take a bath, that'll hopefully keep me relaxed until she gets back here. Stay as long as I'd like, wasn't that what she said? What did she mean about that? I'd like her to stay for good, but I'm sure she doesn't feel the same. Feel. Oh yeah, feelings; now that I figured out why my body acts like this, I think it's time to turn towards figuring out my mind.

I step into the hot bath and try to relax. So what was it? I've been feeling this weird feeling at the back of my head since yesterday. Right after I got drunk, I'd guess... so does it have anything to do with getting drunk? I highly doubted that. So that left only Kat. What was it? Desire? I mean, yeah, I can admit that now, I do desire her. But it's not that. Desire would not explain everything. Envy? Yeah, that too, but again, not enough.

I pressed my hands onto my chest and felt my heart beating loudly. I sat up and opened my eyes, suddenly. Heart... did I... did I actually... Nah, can't be that, it's too early for that. But they do mention the 'at first sight' thing, there has to be something to it. Did I actually... like her? LIKE, like? In that sense?

I tried to imagine saying "I like you" to her and blushed like crazy. Oh yeah, we're definitely onto something here. So, I do like her? Enough to call it L...? No, not after such a short while, surely. This is not how things work. Definitely not that word. But...