Savior

Two~self harm

Self harm is one of the many things we have to deal with and can't just be stopped with the snap of a finger. For someone who has started self harm ( particularly if been doing for a while) it's hard to stop. It's a habit, a way to release pain with pain. And one of the worst things you can do is sit there and tell them to stop, like no I don't want your fucking pity I don't want you to think any lower of me I don't want you to tell me to stop this I just want you to be there for me and help me get through it. But of course not many people can do that. Once they find out you cut or self harm they will either treat you like a delicate flower or look at you in disgust. They will feel bad for you and then make you feel retarded and stupid for doing so. If you feel sorry for people and tell them to stop bc it's stupid you just make us feel embarrassed stupid and worse than before. And if you look at us in disgust and hate us for it, it's just like throwing fuel into the fire. So wait her way it isn't helping. And some people don't want to stop self harming or being depressed because it's there only way of comfort, the only things comforting me at 2 in the morning are the demons inside me. They comfort me more than any person ever has. Which is pretty sad if you think about it. And the worst part of it all is that I'm okay with it. Being sad is just idk... I'm intoxicated with madness and in love with my sadness. I'm fucked I'm in my mind and it's the only thing I can rely on to be real. And I wish this upon no one, fight the urge to self harm fight the urge to be sad fight the urge to block everyone out fight the urge to want to be alone. Because the reality of it all is that we choose our own happiness, we can choose to be depressed or not we can do something about it YOU my friend can get help please do it get help if you ever want to be happy again.
(I sound like such a hypocrite sorry)
It's just that in my case I don't know if I want to be happy again because when ever I am I always seem to get hurt, and being alone and sad I don't seem to have any feelings, I don't feel anything anymore I'm completely blank...
I don't want anyone to get this far down into this dark abyss I'm in so please...
Try and get help...
There are millions of suicide hotlines...

Fuck I'm such a fuck up... But please I don't want anyone going through this shit I am so get help before its to late. Thank you lovelys