Say You'll Remember Me

there's nothing like a mad woman (what a shame she went mad)

My feelings about Selin are conflicted. I am a big fan of Bige. I think she's a tremendous actress. That's why we hate Selin so much and can't stand her. Selin, in my opinion, was a character with a lot of potential for a number of character development arcs. I really loved the scene where Selin and Eda tore up her wedding dress. For me, that could have been the start of a beautiful friendship. I wanted to see Selin supporting Eda career-wise and Eda helping Selin with her love life and just be in her life in general. Unfortunately, the writers chose to turn Selin into the cliche delusional, jealous ex-girlfriend and she became a shallow character whose only purpose is to get the guy by any means necessary. What a pity. In any case, this is what we got. Thank God for fanfiction. I thought a lot about it and my inner feminist didn't let me bash Selin too much. So you guys get to read her contemplating what she has done and the long-awaited confrontation. I hope it was worth the wait and you like this chapter. Only one more until it's over :)

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. There are inconsistencies and things that wouldn't make sense in the real world. It's a good thing this work of fiction is not real world. I don't own any characters but I do own this little made up story and all my mistakes.

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Selin knew what she did was wrong. In all honesty, she had no idea why she lied to Serkan. She got so excited when she had gotten his call in Denmark. Then she answered the call and she was terrified. Serkan had been in a plane crash. And he was alive. It was a miracle. But why call her? Why not his mother or Eda? Or even Engin or Pırıl? Still, he called and asked her to come so she went. He had looked fine on the outside but the first thing he said after greeting her was about the stolen designs, which was months ago. Why was he bringing up an already resolved issue? Then it dawned on her. It wasn't a resolved issue for him. He didn't remember. He had lost his memory.

She didn't know what came over her to lie to Serkan like that. She left the country to get away from him. She was starting to come to terms with the fact that the man she was in love with was in love with someone else. And whatever she might think of Eda Yıldız, she couldn't deny that the woman was a good person. So why make up the lie about her trying to steal the holding?

Moving to Denmark was supposed to be her fresh start. And she was doing better. At least, she thought she was.

She knew why she did it. Try as hard as she might, she couldn't get over losing Serkan. She couldn't handle not being chosen over some florist with no money and no status. That's what she believed anyway. Eda owned %45 of the holding now so obviously, there was a story there. A story she didn't know. But the opportunity to get the man she loved back presented itself. And she took it. And she ruined everything.

After careful and meticulous planning, she created a story to make Serkan believe that the only reason Eda had gotten into their lives was to get revenge for her parents and steal the holding from them. They stayed at a remote location with no contact with anyone to hatch a plan to get Eda's shares and send her packing out of their lives for good. It was a good plan, it was perfect. Too perfect.

She had almost believed she had won. She saw the look on Eda's face when she and Serkan came in hand in hand. Serkan was going to cosy up to her a little. Play along long enough to get her to lower her guard. She hadn't counted on Serkan losing it on Eda within the first five minutes. Five minutes for everything to come crashing down around her. When Eda walked out without saying a word, she had a very brief moment of victory.

Then Engin had stepped in. In two months, Serkan didn't remember a single thing. If he did, he didn't let her know or she didn't notice. She thought it'd be fine. Even though the doctors told her his amnesia was likely to be temporary. She should have known. Engin always had a soft spot for Eda. Not that she didn't deserve it. She did PR for ArtLife. She knew Eda's contributions to the projects they've taken on. Her out-of-the box thinking, her talent, her practical solutions to problems wasn't something every architect had. And she hadn't even finished school yet. But more than that, she was genuinely a good person.

When Engin sent everybody home, she hid until they were all gone and stayed out of sight to listen to their conversation. She heard him starting to remember. She left and got herself a hotel room to think and come up with something, anything. She needed to save her relationship with Serkan. If she couldn't have a romamtic relationship with him, she needed to at least preserve their friendship. They were childhood friends. They grew up together. He couldn't just cut her out of his life, right?

She couldn't think of anything. She messed up bad. There was no explanation, no excuse. Serkan would never be able to forgive something like this. In her obsession to not lose him, she destroyed what little friendship they had left. She needed to leave. Before she did any more damage.

She'd gotten herself a ticket back to Denmark and was packing her things when her phone rang. It was Serkan.

"Selin?" He started with a cold voice.
"Serkan."
"Are you still in Istanbul?"
"Yes. But I'm leaving. I'm going back to Denmark. You're not going to see me again. Don't worry."
"You aren't getting out of this that easily. We need to talk. Postpone your ticket. I'm waiting for you at my place. You owe me that much don't you think?" Without waiting for an answer, he hung up.

Well, if she had any doubts they were gone now. Even if he didn't remember everything, he knew she'd lied to him. It was over. She needed to face the music. He was right. She owed him an explanation.

She drove to his house, not really knowing what to say. He was playing with Sirius, throwing the ball for him to catch. She didn't see anybody else, which was good. Talking to Serkan would be hard enough, she didn't think she could handle talking with anybody else too.

"Serkan."
"Selin." He sent Sirius away and stood up.
"Serkan, I-"
"Why did you do it? Why? I thought you were my friend, Selin. I trusted you. How could you do something like this?" The worst part was, he wasn't yelling. It was as if he was resigned. Tired.
"I don't know why. I don't have an explanation for you. I don't have an excuse. I'm just sorry." She didn't want to tell him why. And it seemed he saw that too.
"Are you sorry because you lied? Or are you sorry because you were caught? What exactly are you sorry for, Selin? Manipulating me? Telling outrageus lies about Eda? What are you sorry for?"
"I'm sorry because my obsession with you led me to do this. Actually, you know what? It wasn't my obsession with you. It was the fact that I wasn't chosen. Ferit, who worshipped the ground I walked on, literally left me at the alter. You staged a fake engagement to get me back and when I came to you, you chose Eda."
"I didn't do the whole fake engagement thing to get you back, Selin. I did it to separate you and Ferit to keep him away from the holding. It wasn't because I was in love with you. I never loved you."
"Yeah, I heard that before."
"You did?"
"Yes. It's another thing you don't remember."
"So, what? We fell for other people and you thought it'd be okay to take advantage of my vulnerable state like this?"
"I left the country to get away from you Serkan. And I was getting better. Then you called and asked for me. It was like one step forward two steps back. I saw a chance and I took it. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know I messed up. I know it's over. That's why I'm leaving. Being here, being around you isn't good for me. Or you. I'm done. I'm just sorry I destroyed our friendship with this."
"Yeah, you did. This isn't something I can understand, Selin. This isn't something I can forgive and forget. You hurt a lot of people with this. Yourself included. You're right. You being here isn't good for any of us. You should leave. Despite everything, I wish you the best. I hope you do get better. I hope you find what you're looking for."
She gave him a sad smile and turned to leave. But she stopped to say one last thing.
"You know, even when it was all fake, you and Eda had a connection. Like you understood each other without saying a word. Even when you were apart you were there for each other. As if she was your missing piece and you were hers. I hope you remember everything, Serkan. The good and the bad. She's the one."

And with that, she left. For good this time. It was time to forge her own path. Find her own happy ending. Be it alone or with someone else.