you left your diary at my house... I (ON HOLD) MINSUNG straykids

awkward silence

I decide to join the dinner because I don't want anybody to notice how down I feel. 

"Hey, honey did anything happen to you? You look a little bit down." My mom asked and looked at me with a worried glance just like Minho who hoped I wouldn't tell them what happened before. I know that it would just make everything worse if I told them.

"I'm alright mom I just am very tired." I don't have the motivation to smile at her so I just sit down and start eating. I will tell her tomorrow, as soon as we get home. Since she knows about my feelings for Minho, she might know what I could do to get rid of this lovesickness.

We all eat and my mom's attention goes back to her friends and her husband as they start talking about old times. I don't listen to them. I'm in my thoughts until I hear Minho's mother saying my name. "...yes I remember that and now Jisung is turning 18 in a few days. Time seriously flies." 

right, I'm turning 18. I will be an adult. That thought scares me. Doesn't that mean I will have to do everything on my own? there won't be people helping me with anything anymore? I bet it will be like this. 

Stop Jisung, you were excited about getting 18 since you were a kid. Stop that negative thinking, everything will be alright... 

"Minho did you guys already put the mattress for Jisung to sleep on into your room?"  Hyung's mom asks him. 

"No we didn't but since he looks very tired, I will do it right after dining."

I nod and ask my mom if I can leave the table since I finished dinner. She agrees and I head back to Minho's room. I sit down on his bed in his dark room and sigh. 

He enters about 5 minutes later and turns on the light. I don't want to look into his face.

Minho POV

I see Jisung sitting on my bed, looking very down. I guess he's still hurting because of that slap gosh he's seriously such a crybaby. But I feel guilty anyways. It's my fault he got slapped.

I want to cuddle him and tell him that I like him, just like every time he's around but that would be weird. He isn't gay, I just know that and I don't wanna scare this little innocent quokka. I need to keep the cold attitude I always have.

"Hey Jisung!" he looks up "Help me with the mattress, it's you who wants to sleep at it."

He nods and stands up "What should I do?"

"Just get yourself a pillow. You know where they are right?" he nods again and leaves my room.

I watch after him. Why is he acting so weird? I don't think it's still the slap that hurts. Maybe because he had seen people making out for the first time? I guess that was a shock but he's turning 18 soon... ugh this kid confuses me.

-

We set up everything and I think Jisung wants to go to bed now. It's exactly 11.06 pm. How can he go to bed now? I always stay awake until like 2 am. He grabs some book from his bag and gets to his mattress. I suddenly think of something.

"Hey Jisung, do you wanna watch something? Like a movie or a drama?"

He firstly seems like he's gonna say no but then, he nods. I am surprised because I thought he wouldn't agree but I'm happy about his answer.

Jisung POV

He asked me if I want to watch something with him! OMGGG!! 

Jisung! don't show how excited you are right now. 

"Great! what do you wanna watch?" Minho asks me and grabs his Laptop to open Netflix.

"I- I don't know, you can decide."

HAN JISUNG STOP STUTTERING THAT'S EMBARRASSING!

"Ok... So there is this new k-drama... If you don't mind, we can watch it. "

Oh no... I hate k-dramas. They make me cry, no matter what happens in them, it always makes me sad. "Of cause, we can watch it" I hear myself saying. I don't wanna seem like such a crybaby.

"Alright," Minho says and pats next to where he is sitting on his bed, symbolizing me to sit down. And I sit but with distance to him.  

-

The drama is at minute 20 and it's so sad... Also, it's uncomfortable in his bed. there are no blankets and it's cold. I'm shivering a bit.

the episode gets to it's highlight and it's even sadder. I start crying quietly. I'm so uncomfortable.

Minho POV

I watch the drama with Jisung. It's a little bit boring but I don't wanna turn it off since Jisung seems like he enjoys it. He doesn't say a word. 

It's getting to the end and I suddenly feel cold, remembering I opened the windows earlier and forgot to close them again. 

I look at Jisung to ask if he's freezing as well when I see his sad face with dried tears at it. He fell asleep and I didn't even notice. I'm such a bad Hyung to him. Suddenly, I feel bad. It's not his fault that he's straight and couldn't return my feelings. I shouldn't be that cold towards him. 

I turn off the drama and quickly get my blanket and pillows. I'm being quiet so I don't wake the big baby up. After closing the windows, I decide to just let him sleep in my bed. I guess he had a hard day. 

My eyelids felt heavy as well so fell on the mattress when I suddenly felt pain in my back. Looking for the item that hurt my back, I found the book Jisung threw on the mattress before we decided to watch something. Not knowing what It is, I slowly open it. 

"Han Jisung's Diary"

and I suddenly don't feel tired anymore...

------------TBC------------

Heyyyy 

I was kinda busy so I couldn't update this hehe :)

I will try to update more often