The Wedding Effect

[16]

The drive back to the hotel was silent and awkward. It consisted more of me twiddling my thumbs in shotgun and Parker gripping the steering wheel with whitened knuckles.

My mind was still in overdrive after what had just transpired, and my lungs were still expelling and accepting oxygen too fast. My heart was still beating way too fast. At this rate, I was probably going to die of tension and emotional awkwardness. And guess what?

I still wanted to kiss Parker, real bad.

So, yeah, I think it was pretty justified when I bolted from the car before he could even park it properly.

"Camsy!" I heard Parker call behind me and the sound of the door shutting. His approaching footsteps followed.

I increased my walking speed, hoping to get as far away from him as possible. My mind was still unable to wipe out the image of our lips almost touching. His face, his eyes.

This was stupid. I was stupid. What was I even thinking? I told myself I wouldn't fall for another man, that love wasn't for me. Then what was this?

Batshit craziness!

I took the stairs two at a time, practically flying on my feet.

"Camsy," I heard Parker call again as I reached the top of the stairs. I craned my neck around in-between seconds only to see that-shit-he was closing in on me. Fast. I tried walking a little faster without seeming insane to all those I passed.

Who was I kidding? I did look insane to them. They were probably wondering why I was walking like I had a meeting with the president, swinging my arms like I was a nutcracker. If I wasn't sure about this, the weird looks I received certainly put a stamp on it.

In my head, I wondered how things would have gone if Parker and I did share a kiss without interruption.

Maybe we would have flinched away from each other and realized there was no point in creating an "us". Neither of us was ready to fall again. He'd confessed to that.

Or maybe, I would have run away like the idiot I always was around him.

And maybe... Just maybe, we wouldn't have flinched or pulled away too quickly. Maybe we would have discovered that we really, really want each other. Maybe we would have put aside everything else just to focus on that moment.

I didn't know about him, but I sure was ready to focus on that moment.

And then Mr. Old McDonald had to ruin it with his walking stick-

When I turned again to check if Parker was still tailing me, I was heavily shocked to notice that he wasn't. Like, he disappeared into thin air. One second he was there, and the next-

I slammed into someone.

And just like that, I found myself looking into green again.

Gosh, this had to stop. I was losing my mind!

I stumbled back, but not too far away. Parker reached forward, grabbed my wrist, and pulled me flush against him. His arms wrapped around me while mine lay flat on his chest. Our gazes latched onto each other.

We would never work.

I swallowed, breaths heavy, eyes slightly teary. I shook my head up at him but didn't move otherwise. "We can't do this. We don't trust each other enough-"

"-Cam, no-"

I cut him off with thickened throat muscles. Tears had begun to gather up into fairly large drops in my eyes. One blink, and I'd give in to them. "It would never work because I've tried thirteen times, and each time I discovered a new way to get my heart broken-"

"Camsy, let me-"

My hands grabbed a fistful of his shirt as I frowned, the weight of fate herself crushing my frame.

"I can't let myself fall for you because you're not ready to love again! I don't want my heart to be broken by you!"

"Camsy!" Parker snapped, his features indicating that he was irritated by my constant interruption. I exhale and blink, setting one single teardrop free. Quick as lightning, Parker swiped it clean off my cheek, then trailed his fingers under my chin, forcing me to look into his green eyes. A light frown graced his features, but that did very little to mask the obvious hurt he was feeling. I was hurt too.

How was I supposed to fall for someone who clearly said he wasn't ready for anything?

It was just like walking into the middle of the highway at two in the afternoon and thinking you're not going to get hit.

Newsflash: You are going to get hit. Very badly.

"I know you've not experienced the beauty of love yet, just its utter ugliness. No one shuts up about it. What they don't know is I've had a fair share of that negativity as well. Imagine how it was for me, walking into the hotel with a ring that cost me thousands of dollars, only to see the woman I thought I loved with another man," Parker said.

I blinked at him, more tears rolling down, and I tried to imagine. The thing was, I couldn't because I'd never gotten to that level with any of my relationships. It was always the break-Camsy's-heart-the-second-you-find-out-she's-falling-for-you trend.

"But." My voice came out tinier now, chapped at the edges. "You said you aren't ready. I don't feel ready."

Slowly, the edges of his lips tug upwards into a smile. "Someone once told me it doesn't matter if you're ready or not. What matters is what you want, what you feel, and what you're willing to take."

I didn't speak. I just stared up at him, my head and heart engaged in a fierce battle between what was right for me and what I wanted.

I wanted Parker. I hated it when other women even looked at him. And it sure drove my subconscious insane whenever they flirted. And I knew I felt an attraction towards him. But my willingness levels needed some help.

Parker broke the little silence that had descended on us. "I'm ready to try if you're willing to have me."

I swallowed, releasing his shirt from my grip and frowning at the creases I'd inflicted. My gaze flickered back up to his, shining with hope.

"I want to kiss you," I blurted out. Of all the other things in this world to say, that was the one thing that came to me.

At least, my dumbness earned me a throaty chuckle from Parker. "What's holding you back?" He lifted a brow with a challenge.

I licked my lips, successfully swiping away what was left of the lipstick coating them. But before I could close the distance, someone cleared their throat. And for the second time today, we jumped away from each other.

Simone offered a tight yet smug smile as she stood there. Her hair held up into a bun, and her makeup looked half done. However, she still looked okay.

"Sorry to interrupt because you have absolutely no clue how hard I have worked for this." She pointed between the both of us, pouting. Then she sighed. "But there's an emergency."

Parker stepped forward, all the previous hunger in his eyes vanishing. "Shawn said I needed to come back, that there was some huge situation-"

"There is," Simone nodded in interruption. Then, as if remembering her aim, she slapped her forehead. "I almost forgot how big the situation was."

"What is it?" I questioned eagerly, almost too eagerly. Simone shot me a knowing look, but held her serious expression.

She grabbed both of us suddenly and tugged us down the hall.

"One of your fans has lost her marbles," she told Parker on the way. Her tone dropped. "I hope you brought a ring, Garthy."