The Story of the Marauders

Fifteen: Remus

REMUS

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The sizzle of rice and vegetables filled the empty kitchen of the Daelynns' manor. Remus held his tongue with his teeth in concentration as he attempted to flip the contents of the silver pan. With a quiet exclamation of triumph, Remus used his free hand to turn off the gas stove. The smell was wonderful; it made Remus' mouth water.

If the werewolf had to be honest to himself, however, the cooking was a distraction from the doubled level of concern for the prolonged absence of Calysta. From the wine cellar of Calysta's home, Remus retrieved a dark bottle of wine and popped the cork with slight struggle. Remus stared at the thin neck of the bottle with apprehension, yet brushed away his better judgment with a deep gulp straight from the bottle. He took a moment to let the liquid sit in his stomach, then placed the wine on the edge of the marble counter.

Remus selected a Bon Jovi record from a collection of Sirius' Calysta still had and sang to himself as he collected a pair of silverware from the drawer in front of him. He paused before he closed it, pondering his next decision. Sighing sharply, he grabbed another set before nudging the drawer shut with his hip. Two plates were set across from each other at a small oak table and piled with still-steaming rice and vegetables.

In the morning, after returning home from the Ministry, Regulus Black stopped by the manor waiting to ask them, two people he barely knew, to go on a quest of sorts to steal a Horcrux. While Remus refused, Calysta swept in and accepted the task as if she were helping a friend. She promised to come back for dinner. Calysta hadn't returned. Remus took another gulp of wine.

The sky was growing dark following another hour worrying about Calysta's return. She promised to be back! Remus rested his head heavily on one hand as he used his other to eat his rice slowly. Remus' eyes left his plate and stared at the bottle of wine again. He blinked and gripped the neck of the bottle with both hands, fork coming to rest on the plate. A feeling of despair washed over him and he squeezed his eyes shut. He realized if Calysta didn't come back, he would be alone.

The faces of James and Sirius came to him then. Remus hadn't missed them any less even a year after James and Lily were murdered and Sirius was taken to Azkaban as an innocent man. A year after Peter killed himself because he couldn't take the shame of betraying his best friends...and a year after he told Calysta he did it for her. Down went another drink.

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Remus chucked the emptied bottle of wine to the kitchen floor. He immediately bent to pick up the pieces. It wasn't in Remus' nature to be destructive. To him, that felt it ironic. Remus tried his best to pick up the broken bits of his friends when they needed him to do so. Remus knew they loved him for it. But what Remus found arduous were the times when he needed to pick up himself. Still, he managed.

'They never knew you were always the most vulnerable.' Remus' conscience told him. Remus smacked his palm over his forehead and growled angrily, resuming his work on the broken wine bottle. Once the bigger pieces of the glass were cleaned from the floor, Remus shuffled to the dust pan and knelt back on the floor to sweep up the remaining mess. Shattered glass taken care of, Remus stood, fumbled, and hurriedly leaned against the kitchen cupboards.

'Come on, you great disgrace! Drink once and you're a bumbling idiot!' Remus' brain screamed at him. Taking a deep breath, Remus stepped towards the long couch in the next room over, positioned in front of a dying fire. Remus ordered himself to kindle it; he didn't. Instead, the man ran a hand through his hair roughly and flopped onto the cushions of the couch.

Remus still didn't find himself deserving of the extra lengths Calysta took to welcome him into her home. The memory of giving Calysta her facial scars on the first night he ever stayed played in his mind like a nasty broken record. Remus still felt he had to apologize every time he looked her in the eye. He had turned into a wolf that very night! Remus had been invited graciously out of his shabby flat into Calysta's home and he nearly killed her as a way to thank her. Remus had been expecting to be kicked out, but still Calysta assured him it wasn't a problem. Calysta was a better friend than he thought he deserved.