Me and Jordan soon became friends after that.
It's either she understood me and what was going on or she was hitting on me.
I'm gonna go with the first one.
I took up her advice.
Today we are going to the barbar shop.
I had a flash back as we drove over there.
"You should just accept who you are and go to therapy to figure it out and get your sexuality straight!" My mother said.
But of course I denied everything.
Because they obviously wont accept me.
I ran to my room...
Night time fell and I went to sleep.
I dreamed of the short hair..the comfy clothes..and the cute girlfriend..I woke up ..Nonono..
I never wanted to accept the fact that I liked girls because I knew that my parents would never accept me.
But it ate me alive.
I would have random daydreams about being transgender and how comfortable I would be..now that's about to come true..Rhonda wanted anything to make the girls I'm her group home happy and I've come to appreciate that..but .mof course it was only temporary and I didn't want to imagine what would happen next..especially with my new features....
We walked in and I picked up a boy haircut magazine and went straight to the one I wanted ..short black flip hair with blonde on the flip part.
Jordan smiled.
"Looks great. Good choice.
Imma be honest I kind of liked Jordan but I javent figured out if she likes girls yet and she hasn't told me. But I have t asked her.
I sat in the chair and pointed to the one I wanted.
The barbar looked at me kinda funny then just said "oook" and went to work.
Even though the baraber seemed kind of appaled by my idea..he still did a great job and I loved my new cut.
I already had my new outfit on.
Black jeans, a blue v neck Tshirt and a leather black jacket since it's November.
As we walked along the streets Jordan decided to buy me a black snapback hat.
"Oo you don't have to do that"
"No it's fine you always went on about how you lobe it and it's only five bucks"
She's right. I really liked it. It was black, white ,and gray and had NY on it.
I put it on.
"Sweeett" she said.
"Thanks " I say smiling.
This is great.
I finally got what I wanted.
But nagging in the back of myind are my dead parents.
I'm going to their funeral in California next week and Im bracing myself for it.
Not the funeral.
The family meeting.
I have insta so moat of my teen family members will see and tell their parents.
But I'm still scared.
"You thinkin about Cali? " Jordan asks noticing my look.
I nod.
"Its ok" as she leans in and lets me pull her into a hug.
I'm glad she's shorter than me.
I actually really like her hut I'm waiting for the right time to tell her and to do it in a proper way.
