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my mother died. she went out drinking again and got involved in a car accident. the funny thing is, she was sober, but the drunk drivers weren't. 

i should have looked after her, locked her in our house or something, i should have done anything to keep her safe. but i'll never have her back now. 

i guess she never really enjoyed her life while she was alive, either. it might have been better for her this way. 

dad got the news too. he went hysterical. he said that he loved her, and that he felt so guilty for not staying with her. 

but i think he's wrong. if you love someone, you'd never leave them, right? 

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