Philippine Folklore

Juan Osong gets a Wife

Juan Osong was now eighteen. He wanted to have a wife, just as other men did. So, he told his mother about it.

"That's a good idea, Juan," his mother said. "But be sure that you choose a good girl for a wife."

"What kind of girl must I get for my wife, Mother?" Asked Juan.

"I want a girl who is modest, quiet and respectable. That's the kind of girl you must choose for a wife. I don't want girls who are always flirting with other men. Many of the girls in our village are like that. Be sure that you don't get one of them."

"I'll do what you say, Mother," said Juan. "I'll bring home a good wife. But, Mother, how do I get her to come with me?"

"Oh, you silly boy," said Juan's mother, laughing, "you will have to court her."

"I don't know how to court a girl, Mother," said Juan. "How do I court a girl?"

"You talk to her," explained Juan's mother patiently. "You tell her how beautiful she is, and that you love her very much. Then, you ask her to be your wife."

"And then she will say yes, Mother?" asked Juan eagerly.

"Most girls will say no, at first," said Juan's mother. "And even when they're willing to be your wife, they won't say yes. They'll just keep silent. That is their way of saying yes."

"Ah, I know how to get a wife now," said Juan happily. "All I have to do is to find the kind of girl you like."

"A lot of girls are gathered at Mang Andoy's house now." said Juan's mother. "They are having a wake because Mang Andoy's youngest daughter died. The prettiest and the best girls in the village are there. You can choose a good wife from among them."

"I'll do that, Mother," said Juan again. And off he went to Mang Andoy's house.

There were many people gathered in Mang Andoys's house.

Most of them were young and pretty girls. They were chatting together. Now and then, one of them would laugh.

"They won't make good wives," said Juan to himself. "They are noisy. Mother won't like them. Mother wants a girl that is quiet and modest. I'll look in the other room. Perhaps I can find a good girl there."

And Juan entered the room where the dead daughter of Mang Andoy was. She was laid out on the bed, surrounded by candles and flowers. Her hands were folded across her breast; her eyes, half open.

"This is the girl for me!" Juan said. "So quiet and formal. Mother will surely like her." And he began to talk to the dead girl. He told her how beautiful she was, and finally he asked her to become his wife.

"Will you marry me?" Juan asked. Of course the dead girl did not answer. Juan remembered his mother's words.

"She doesn't answer," Juan thought. "That means, she is willing to be my wife." And without more delay, he lifted the dead girl from the bed and brought her home, passing through the back door.

The people in Mang Andoy's house were frightened when they found the body gone.

They thought that it had been stolen by Vampires. They looked all over the village, but they could not find the dead body.

Meanwhile, Juan was very happy. How now had a wife, he thought. He stayed with the dead girl all night, trying to talk to her.

"She is very quiet," said Juan happily. "I know Mother will be pleased with her."

The next day, the dead body began to smell bad. The smell spread all over the house. Juan's mother decided to find out what the strange snell was. She entered Juan's room and saw the dead body.

"Juan, what have you done?" asked the horrified mother. "Why did you steal that dead body?"

"What dead body, Mother?" asked Juan innocently. "This is the girl I've chosen for my wife. I thought you'd like her. See, she's very quiet"

"You silly boy," shouted Juan's mother. "Can't you see that she's dead? Would you marry a dead girl?"

"I never know that she's dead, Mother," answered Juan. "How did you know that she's dead?"

"Can't you see that she's beginning to have a bad smell? Dead persons begin to smell bad after one day. Now bring that body back to Mang Andoy's house. They must bury it before the smell spreads all over the village.

Juan then went back to Mang Andoy's house with the body. On the way he kept thinking to himself.

"Mother is very wise," he thought. "This girl has a bad smell. That is because she is dead. Next time I choose a girl, I'll make sure that she smells good. Then I'll know that she isn't dead."