Philippine Folklore

The "Death" of Juan Osong

For many days, Juan kept trying to talk to the girls in the village. He wanted to get a good wife for himself.

"I know now the kind of wife I must have," thought Juan to himself. "She must be quiet and modest and she must smell good. Then, I'll know that she isn't dead."

But none of the girls wanted to talk to Juan.

Juan never took a bath. He seldom changed his clothes. So, he did not have a pleasant smell. The girls went away whenever he approached. They could not bear his smell.

At last, Juan approached a girl before she could get away. He began to talk to her. The girl fanned her face vigorously. She held her little nose with her fingers.

"Why do you hold your nose?" Asked Juan. "Do I smell bad?"

"Yes," the girl said frankly, "you smell very bad."

This greatly frightened Juan Osong. "I have a bad smell," thought Juan to himself. "Then, It has happened! I am already dead! I must go and bury myself, before my smell spreads over the whole village."

So, Juan ran home and got a shovel. He dug a grave on the edge of the forest. When it was deep enough, he lay down in it. Of course there was no one to cover him, but Juan didn't mind. "I am already dead and buried," thought Juan to himself. " This is the end of Juan Osong."

As he lay in the grave, he suddenly saw the guava trees above him. Their branches waved in the breeze. There were many ripe fruit on the branches right above him. They were so ripe that they seemed ready to fall.

"Ah, ripe guavas!" Juan shouted. "If Juan were still alive, he would climb up and eat you all. But alas! Juan is already dead! But if you should fall right into Juan's mouth, then it is no longer Juan's fault. Juan will eat you even if he is already dead."

While Juan was talking, a band of robbers passed by. They stopped when they heard Juan's voice coming out of the grave.

"Ah, It's Juan Osong," said the leader of the robbers. "What are you doing down there, Juan?"

"Don't talk to me," said Juan Osong, "because I'm already dead."

The robbers laughed long and loud at this answer.

"Well, Juan," said their leader, "you should come with us. We are going to rob the house of a rich man. It's going to be dangerous. Perhaps some of us will get killed. But you won't get killed, Juan, because you are already dead. Get out of that grave, Juan, and come with us.

Juan looked at the robbers. They all had guns and sharp knives. They looked very fierce. Juan felt afraid. He decided to do as he was told.

Silently, he climbed out of the grave. Then, the robbers went away, taking Juan with them.