Assassin! Ishimaru Kiyotaka

Backstory Part 4

(its a long sad chapter...)

Kiyotaka sat at his desk, the lamp casting a soft yellow glow onto his study material. But no matter how focused he tried to be, his senses kept remembering Chihiro in his room. They had walked back to the dorms together after Kiyotaka's... episode... in the city. And for the first time in a while, kiyotaka wasn't thinking about the clock. Chihiro had sat him down, getting him a glass of ice water, and pulling up a chair of himself.

Kiyotaka sat, staring into the ice water as he was too nervous to look up at Chihiro. After a moment of silence, Chihiro began,

"I don't think you're a failure."

Kiyotaka glanced up briefly, ready to reply. But Chihiro spoke before he could even open his mouth,

"I don't think you're weak either. You're the s-strongest person I know. I've a-always admired your hard work, even when I was too afraid to talk to you." It was Chihiro's turn to look away, folding his hands in front of him and looked down at his shoes, a light blush dappling his cheeks.

"You're so smart, and so t-talented and driven. E-even when people try to bring you down, you just keep moving forward and proving them wrong."

Kiyotaka blushed at the compliment, hiding it with another sip of his water.

"S-so I guess I just don't understand..Why are you always so anxious, Kiyotaka?"

The question had caught him off guard. He knew why he was. Because he had to prove himself. He had to be the best person he could possibly be. For his mother and father, for his legacy... for himself.

"I.."

He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He wasn't sure how to properly phrase it, and he wasn't sure if he would ever. He took a shaky breath, a sip of the water Chihiro gave him, and just let the coil in his chest loosen, along with his tongue.

"Have you heard of Toranosuke Ishimaru?" he began, receiving a shake of the head from Chihiro.

Kiyotaka sucked a shaky breath through his teeth, his fingers grabbing at the white fabric of his trousers as he began to tell a story he had never told anyone before.

"He was prime minister a few years ago. He was naturally smart, and hadn't worked a day in his life. People called him a genius. But since he had never worked hard for his position, he never gave it much thought to try any harder. He was handed everything in his position, so naturally he cared little for actual hard work. He.. uhm... he embezzled a lot of government money, he had such an ego surrounding him he could barely fathom failure. In only a few months of being prime minister, he had completely ruined his status. His family was thrown into extreme debt and distrust.. that man was my grandfather."

Chihiro's eyes widened, raising his hand to his mouth.

"So that's..."

"Yes, that's why I must be the best possible person I can be. That's why I must strive for absolute perfection and work as hard as I possibly can. I have to prove to myself- to my parents- the world- no... to myself. That the Ishimaru name is something to be proud of. Because if I don't... i-if I don't... then what's the point."

he felt Chihiro put his hands gently over Kiyotaka's. He hadn't noticed he was crying.

"You should already be proud, Kiyotaka. You've made it into the most esteemed college in the world. You have perfect grades, and... I'm sure your family is very proud of you."

His breath hitched as he had begun to sob, all his perfectly bottled up emotions began to pour out wave after wave of anxiety, fear of failure and stress he had been hiding broke loose. Like a single string holding pounds of weights finally snapping. The smaller boy pulled Kiyotaka into a hug, which he allowed himself to fall into, clutching at Chihiro's back as he wailed into his shoulder. Chihiro shushed him as he squeezed Kiyotaka's midsection. He rubbed his hands comfortingly down the boy's back, hesitantly running his fingers through Kiyotaka's short cropped black hair.