Thorn | Neville Longbottom

Chapter 54: Afraid

Briar's seventh year at Hogwarts had only been getting worse. She had been able to avoid Snape for the most part during her time there, but the control Voldemort and the Death Eaters had begun to exert on the school was suffocating, and the light seemed to be slowly fading from many people's eyes. It was all sickening to Briar.

Despite the danger it put her in, Briar had been helping Neville, Luna, and Ginny run Dumbledore's Army in the trio's absence. She spent much of her free time in the Room of Requirement with the others, but she periodically had to return to the Slytherin dorms to take showers, and sometimes she would go back to spend the night in her bed there still.

Even though it was much more uncomfortable to sleep on the makeshift bed on the floor with Neville, she still preferred it over having to return to the Slytherin Dorms. She felt like she was in utter danger every time she stepped into the common room, purely because Snape was there.

Today, she had been hurrying back to the Slytherin dorms for a shower when she stepped into her dorm to hear loud crying. Briar froze in her tracks when she realized that Pansy was sobbing on her bed, and Millicent and Daphne's faces were ghastly pale beside her. The pair of them had empty looks in their eyes, and their still hands on Pansy's back seemed to do nothing to console the girl.

Briar dropped her bag on her bed and wondered, "What's wrong? Pansy, is someone hurt?"

Pansy simply shrugged her shoulders in response, and this made Briar's heart pound in her chest. She rushed forward and questioned, "Who is it? Who's hurt?"

Millicent just shook her head and sighed, "No, no. No one is physically hurt."

"Did Malfoy do this?" Briar asked next. She was studying the three girls as she waited for a response, and she was completely unnerved by how unlike themselves all three of them were.

Pansy shook her head no. Briar put a hand on Pansy's knee and prodded, "Then what is it, Pansy? What's happened?"

All four girls were silent for a few moments until Pansy blubbered, "How are you not afraid?"

"What do you mean?" replied Briar instantly. Her voice was sharper than she intended it to be, but the other three girls didn't even react as they had gotten used to her sharp tongue long ago.

Pansy was crying too hard to explain herself, so Millicent meekly spoke for her. "We're so terrified of what's happening, and you seem...unaffected. Pansy doesn't understand how all of this doesn't make you feel afraid."

Briar licked her lips and took her time in choosing her words. The other three girls just sat by and waited for her response since they all hoped they could learn how to be more fearless from Briar. They never wanted to feel this way again.

Briar took a deep breath and finally explained, "You may think I'm not afraid, but I am...I'm constantly terrified that something could happen to Neville or Sirius or Remus or Folsy or you three or myself, but I can't show that. In this environment, I can't let anyone see how afraid I am because my fear could get me killed if someone interprets it the wrong way. So outside of this dorm room, I act unaffected because I have to. I pretend to be fearless to make the younger kids feel like someone good is in control. I have to act like all of this isn't destroying me, but trust me, I'm not doing well with all of this either."

A silence settled over the room as they processed Briar's words.

Pansy had mostly stopped crying, and she used a hand to swipe away the tears that had coated her face. She didn't meet Briar's eyes as she murmured, "Did you know that Draco's been crying himself to sleep every night? The other boys don't know how to react and asked us for advice. They'd never seen Draco cry before."