Confessions of the Band P.A. (The Strypes)

Foreword

It’s not a shock that a PA’s job is unglamorous. But after having joined this team, I’ve been told many times by girls my age that they would kill for my position. They would climb mountains, part the Red Sea, anything just to be close with the lads.  I would often put a polite smile or shrug my shoulders. Can’t really match the fans’ high enthusiasm after running around Texas just to find a laundry which can remove a white chocolate stain (I would like to believe it’s just white chocolate) on a red plaid suit minutes before a gig, searching all over the hotel room for the other half of a pair of mustard yellow socks, sneaking in a bar somewhere in America after photoshopping fake ids for both of you who are under 21 (got caught and I got the sanction for it), and doing crazy weird shit at 2am involving cows and cow dung in Cavan - don’t ask (and I’m the only one who got called out for it, stripping me off my ‘unlimited drinks’ or ‘free movie night out’ privileges - totally not fair). Oh no, I don’t hate the lads. They hold a special place inside my little heart. I can definitely picture one of them rolling their eyes out as I say this. But things can go crazy and a little too much for me to handle esp.when the four of them start to bug me for their rider and getting into panic mode at the same time when their beloved McVities are almost running out.

Rider-refill-day can be a nightmare esp. if you’re in a town where grocery stores don’t have chocolate McVities and the lads can be quite fanatically specific about their choice of McVities. *heavy strangled sigh* I used to think the craziness only occurs while on tour - the exhaustion and the moving bunks messing up their heads. But their weird shit doesn’t stop bugging me even at our downtime. Being a PA is a 24/7 job and I’ve accepted that fact. I’ve heard worst stories of bands being dickheads with unreasonable demands but these Cavan lads, they can be crazy ass weirdoes but that’s just them being young and trying to have fun. I’m young too, just around their age actually. That’s why it’s easier for me to get lured to their invitation. When someone calls me at my hotel room at 1:45 AM in an excited voice pumped up by drinking tons of coke after a gig and says “Hey Y/N, let’s go out and eat some takoyaki, you know those octopus balls? Let’s try drinking sake too. Just don’t tell Niall, please please please lets go???” I will go. We were in Japan for fuck sake, I want to explore and have some fun too. But then again, whenever the lads are caught, I take the arrow…I guess they’re expecting me to watch over them and report any trouble but I always ended up being part of the trouble because of the lads.  The boys would make up for it by sticking up for me whenever ‘firing me’ comes up. At least that’s what the management says. The team would reprimand the lads in return by warning them not to get me involved in any trouble if they wouldn’t want me out. Although, Niall assured me that firing me isn’t an option in the near future as I’ve already formed a relationship of trust between me, the team, and esp. with the band. Yeah…too much trust…and too much cringe-worthy moments I’ve witnessed about the lads that I had to stop myself from unintentionally laughing whenever a fan asks me if I’m dating one of The Strypes. There had been some mixed signals and the inevitable sexual tensions now and then (I just thought because I’m a girl, things are meant to be awkward sometimes)…but I don’t think I can even date one of them…when it comes to being a P.A for The Strypes, it’s just TMI already.