All But YouーShizaya (R18)

You Again?

Friends, the flea doesn't know this kind of thing. He is alone. Appreciated by many people for his services, but loved by no one.
In fact, even he hates himself deeply, and it makes him really uncomfortable when he really thinks about it.

During the day, he manages to ignore all the things that bother him, busy with his survival on the city streets and by his work. But in the evening, when Namie leaves his apartment by closing the door behind her, leaving him alone in the big dark cold and silent room, Izaya finds himself alone again, now face to face with his problems.

It's now late in the night, and the informant puts his computer to sleep while stretching out on his chair.

- "I've done enough work for today, let's get some rest"

When he's alone, Izaya often talks to himself. A "friendless guy thing", he'll tell you jokingly.

He gets up and turns towards the huge window illuminated by the lights of the city. He really loves this view, it's beautiful. Anyone could spend hours watching this.

He thought about what Namie had told him this morning.

"No one will ever be on good terms with you. No one will ever love you"

He repeated, looking at himself in the reflection of the glass, his smile and his playful way of speaking having suddenly disappeared when he thought about it deeply.

The flea loves humans a lot, but humans don't love him back. It doesn't matter. Deep down, he doesn't love them that much... it's just a distraction, but all he's worried about right now is the sadness and bitterness gnawing at him from the inside.

A heavy silence reigns in the empty room.

-(I wonder what the others are doing now... Shizu chan must surely be with Tom or someone else, Shinra in Celty's arms, Mikado on the internet... ah, maybe I should check on the chat!)

He turned his computer back on and opened the private chat.

-There's no one online-

- "mh..."

Deception. He starts typing:

Kanra:-[Heyyy everyone! Kanra san is back~☆ There seems to be no one around, I feel so lonely in the chat!]

He continues to type:

Chrome:-[Hey, welcome back Kanra san, it's been a while]

Kanra:-[yees! I've been very busy this week, I went out with my friends, we may be going on a trip together. I can't wait!]

Chrome:-[whoa, sounds fun, let us know how the trip goes!]

Kanra:-[oki doki~☆]

After talking to himself in the online chat, he looked at the time, seeing that no one else was answering except himself.

- "They all have something to do, if only I could know what they're all doing! That would be fun, really fun!"

He spun around a little on his chair, laughing out loud and then realized that he didn't think it was so funny.
Silence was back in the room when he was surprised by the sound of his stomach crying out for food.

- "oh... well, I think it's time to eat."

He got up, dragging his feet to go to the kitchen to see if Nami hadn't left him some of the food she cooked earlier. She often does this, the kitchen in her apartment is too small so she prefers to cook at Izaya's place. When she cooks too much, she always leaves him a portion in the fridge. This time there was nothing. Or maybe she didn't leave anything for him on purpose.
Izaya isn't the type to eat a lot. Besides, Simon often reproaches him for being too thin.