It's Just That Crazy

Chapter 9- Old Habits Die Hard

Chapter 9- Old Habits Die Hard

“I think I’m going to stay with mom this week,” I tell Conner as he packs up a few of his necessities to take to Dad’s.

He looks up at me briefly and raises his eyebrows in surprise. “It’s Sunday, Summer. It’s Dad’s day. He’ll be here in an hour. Have you told him you’re not coming?”

I shake my head. “No. I was getting ready to let him know. You think he’ll be upset?”

Conner shrugs and continues packing his bag. “I’m sure he won’t be happy about it. The court gave him set days with us for a reason, so he could see us too.”

I sigh. “I know. It’s just…we have Dinner with Matt and his family today. Our last dinner was a disaster. I’d rather skip out of this one.”

“That’s understandable. Just tell Dad that. Tell him you’ll come Monday.”

“That’s not all,” I admit. I fidget a little, looking down at the floor in embarrassment. It’s the first time I’ve really admitted this out loud to Conner, but I already know he feels the same. “I don’t really feel like being around dad and Beth and all their newly engaged bliss right now. I’m still trying to get used to the idea that Dad’s…”

“Completely moved on,” Conner finishes for me, zipping up his red duffel. “I know. But we have to. Dad is really happy. We have to be happy for him, too. It’s selfish of us not to be.

I look up at him, already hating where this conversation was going. I really wasn’t looking for a guilt trip. I know what Conner is saying is true, but that doesn’t make it any easier. “Well, anyway, I should go call him.”

“If that’s what you want,” Conner says.

“It is.” I turn and make my way out of his room and back to mine. My phone is on my bed waiting for me when I get there. Without hesitation I pick up my phone to call Dad and quickly type in his number. It’s when I know I must actually hit the call button that causes me to pause.

I need to call him. I need to get this over with. But Conner’s words come back to me. Dad is really happy. We should be happy for him, too. It’s selfish of us not to be.

 

Yes, my mom was the one who asked for the divorce and was the cause for splitting up our family, and Dad has every right to be happy again, but it’s been harder on me than I thought it would be. I’m not okay with any of it and I’m doing my best. Though my best is sometimes just not enough and I hate that because I really am trying.

Just as I come to this realization my phone rings and it’s one of my dad’s favorite beetle songs, “Come Together.”

I take breath and answer the phone.“Hey, Dad.”

“Hey, sweetheart.  Are you almost ready to go? I thought I’d swing by a little early and let you and Conner come to the store with me and pick out dinner tonight. How does that sound?”

I’ll tell him. I’ve gotta tell him. But all that comes out is, “Yeah. Sure. That sounds good.”

“Great!” He sounds delighted. “I’ll pick you guys up in half an hour. “Tell your mom for me, will you?”

“Of course.” Even though he can’t see me, I force a smile on my face. “See you then, Dad.”

“Bye, honey.”

I hit the end call button and collapse on my bed. Well…so much for staying with Mom this week. I groan. I’ll get through this week somehow I suppose.