Sickening

6

(this doesnt have any relation to the writing below it, atleast yet)

I don't think that I'd exactly call it love.

His large, clammy hands stroking my shaking spine. It's rough and scratchy on my gentle skin, skin he'd take for granted.

'mmph..'

'Shh, shh baby girl, it's alright'

My eyes shut wide open as he bites my lower lip, asking for permission to drip into my dreams. I can feel the sticky heat between us becoming uncomfortably normal, as I start to lose the sense of what my skin feels like. 

The only physical sensation I'm able to focus on is how his tongue aggressively grabs at mine, begging and pleading for reciprocation. Reciprocation wasn't something I signed up for.

I'm hoping he can't feel the lump in my throat rising, rising, rising into my tear ducts. Blending with the sweat I can only hope he can't feel it.

TW: internalized homophobia+ f slur .*+

"No..no no no no no your fucking kidding me.."

Conner slammed his quacking fist into the mirror, gashing open his knuckles which he could care less about. How the fuck did this happen, what went wrong with him to let this happen?! 

Not only was he tenderly thinking about the one bastard he couldn't give less of a shit about, but that same sadistic bastard had..

a penis.

He looked down at his battered fists, eyes tracing the creases the red liquid traced and oozed into. The blood wiped off onto the white band-T, permanently damaging the cloth. Cloth his morals viciously hated but smelled so much like a sickly comforting boy. 

Taking a deep breath, he brought the shirt up to his face to get a better image of the man he absolutely could not fucking stand. The only man who could understand this intense hatred.

The only man who couldn't feel for him back.

A hero in love with the villain.. what a cliche old as time. It was old, but it was just so intriguing. When the sun starts to burn, where are you left to go but seek for the cool? 

His sun was getting more debilitating by the second, and the raven-haired freak was feeling more like a cold dip in the sea by the second. 

Not to say his sun was bad, or annoying, or even a bad girlfriend... she just got, well.. boring. Evenings spent cuddling and watching movies don't fulfill the same way getting choked to the point of a blackout was. Or the way a cock could stuff the crevices of your mouth could feel so exciting. 

"The fuck is wrong with you, faggot?!" 

Screams filled the blank walls of his apartment, echoing back his guilty song of sorrow. The next seconds, minutes, hours, were filled with bangs and kicks to the objects that filled his apartment space. White walls turned crimson, black tiles covered in the stench of copper.

'huff.. huff.. hfh' He panted, letting the silence of his surroundings kick in. How long had he been at this for?

'Knock... knock.. knock...'

Conner's head whipped around towards the door which the rapping originated, dizzying his senses.

"Err.. Can I like.. come in?" A familiar, muffled voice taunted him from the other side of the wall.

"shit.." He silently muttered under his breath. It didn't take much brainpower for him to put together the pieces of who was at his door. The same cocksucker who caused this mess was stood out in the cold, waiting to be let in. 

His feet slid over the cold, damp flooring beneath him, stumbling his way towards the door. Gentle buzzing filled his ears, pounding against his skull like a hammer.

The icy breeze slashed at his skin, but it wasn't as bad as the tender greeting of

"You look like shit."